New layout: I was getting tired of flowers, too fussy, to charged, in short, let's all rejoice at the Hello Kitty © Sanrio 1976 background!
***
New shock: Jokes are meant to entertain people, not to hurt them. I felt really really disappointed, and I nearly hit the evil button of "delete thread". Then I thought better of it, let's have J_K face the consequences of its joke a little more...
***
New movie: seen "The Chronicles of Narnia" last night. Aside of the movie, which I liked, I wish people coming to the theater would be a little more educated. There were people attenting the show, and actually *despising* it, making fun of the other people queuing up. Someone explain to me what's the point of paying for a movie, then making stupid comments all along! You don't like Narnia, finds it silly? Go watch another movie, and don't frigging bother the audience. Or better , don't go to the movies AT ALL !!
Basic rules of politeness : I know it is holidays, that the lines are pretty long but PLEASE make it so to arrive and take a seat BEFORE the movie actually begins... Nothing so annoying than people waving, calling for friends, then groping their way in between people...
Eating habits, then: WHEN will theater halls be a place where we go watch movies, instead of enduring people munching on popcorn? I couldn't enjoy the first half hour of the movie, the munching/paper fumbling/sipping were too loud. And I don't even mention the popcorn spread all over the floor, if not the seats, spilled coca cola, dirty papers and whatnots all around......... disgusting.
Plain disgusting.
Not talking about people unable to shut the fcuk up when the movie begins. Tell me about ruining the mood...
Hopefully the movie was good enough to make me forget about the, let's say "side-effects" of attending a show on holiday times, a week after the national release...I miss my student days, the Monday Morning shows, where the whole movie hall could be mine...
Call me weird, but I have always been taught in the respect of the others....Obviously some people do not seem to know what "respect" means anymore....
I really feel bad for the persons whose job is cleaning the mess when theaters close...
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
so be It.
I know why I can't write a single line about me.
About us.
About everything that bears my real name.
It's because I cannot see my real self as a potential character. No novel will be written about me as I see myself. (Don't tell me I have too much ego, the thing is: you have to be, if you wanna write, least a blog entry...Think about it)
It will always have to be wrapped under clothes and garments, where the flaws inevitably show, but also faint glimpses of what I had alway want to be.
Maybe that's why my childhood was full of flying, magical creatures, preferably Unicorns. Maybe that's why I now bear puppy eyes and silver hair.
And immortality as a curse.
*******
STORY-TELLING PART II (circa January 2004)
this isn't worth a new thread... ^ ^
don't expect part two before long...
faked reality...
***
Part one -settings-
Inuchan tapped impatiently her claw on the phone.
- ….and I am telling you to sue that Rowling lady, she said. I just read her latest Harry Potter # 45 thingy - well the blueprint of it- ….. If having that Lord Voldemort being an actual "dog-demon" isn't leeching , then I am Mary Poppins, for sure! And I do not even mention the offence made to my race, it seems so far beyond your understanting faculties….
A somewhat confused voice answered uneasily.
- ….her "lawyers"? laughed Inuchan. See if I am afraid of them! Just tell them my husband is the President of the A-Corp, she added with a lower, threatening tone. Just tell them we could break Mrs Rowling's business, if we wanted to… If those people do not get anything about ethics and honours, let's talk about what they understand: m-o-n-e-y…..
She hung up for good, with a little smile. Like if she cared about money herself….. Her gaze went around the office, the white walls, the priceless furniture, the huge windows overlooking the city…. Like if she needed more money… She let herself fall down on her chair, looking idly at the range of books, standing in perfect alignment on her desk, like little faithful soldiers. All of them wearing her name on the frontpage. All of them hiding the same stories of passion and power, love and betrayal…..All what people wanted. All what people were ready to give money for….
The shrill ringtone again, cold and inhuman.
-Yes?
The same confused voice, telling Inuchan what she already knew: Rowlings' lawyers were ready to delay the printing process, and have J.K. suppress the 'dog-demon" reference. She hung up again, not even feeling thrilled by the mayhem she had just started: panic at Rowling's publishers, huge loss of money, postponing of all the marketing events and the movie, not mentioning the loss of credibility….and millions and millions of children waiting for their beloved hero's new adventures….. Human emotions were somewhat out of her reach, especially when it came to use them for economic purpose. Being a writer herself - a famous one - she knew too well how it worked. She knew the system was rotten, it was selling dreams for cheap to naive people.
It was'nt even about celebrity.
It was a question of pride.
It was a question of dignity.
It was a question of power.
Or maybe was it just about having fun?
Inuchan heard the appartment door slam. Then her keen dog ears made out a muffled "thud", a body falling on a couch. Inuchan left her desk, then entered the lounge. A purple sunset bathed the large room, the black couch, the glass table, and somewhat further, the stainless steel of the kitchen appliances.…. She walked through the space like a ghost, her bare feet sliding on the floor, her silky kimono rustling around her body. She sat next the man resting on the couch, and peeped at his tense face, his not too welcoming glance. He nervously lit a Red Marlboro, then threw the pack onto the glass table, and seemed to quiet down a bit as his lips released greyish clouds of smoke.
Mister President looked pretty pissed off, tonight, she thought, as she played idly with one of his dark hairlock. Better not teasing him too hard. She put an interrrogative expression in her gaze, waiting for his to meet hers. But he avoided it however, unwilling to start a conversation.
-To hell with those damn fashion -models-to-be, growled Stovila, to himself. They are never satisfied…… As if it was MY fault if they aren't good looking chicks….
Then he rose, with not a single look at Inuchan, and rushed to the bedroom.
Inuchan smiled, as she heard him taking a shower. Better let him alone for now: she wasn't in the mood to start a fight right now. Not yet, to be more accurate.
On the ashtray, the cigarette kept burning quietly.
***
For those who wondered what the hell that "A-corp" could be, let's say it was the Image Empire on Earth. Not a single web-interface, not a single TV logo, not a single software layout that wasn't "A-corp copyrighted". Had you ever marvelled at those beautiful posters invading the walls of the cities, offering their 3m x 5m sized dreaming pictures to the people's eagerness? A-corp credited. Had you ever drooled at those beautiful faces on famous magazines' covers? A-corp, at your service.. Also add CD booklets' art, DVD producing, entertainment providing, photo-books, Art Galleries, and there you have an idea of what A-corp represents: a World of Pictures, with Fame and Fortune, and the Crap that goes with It: jealousy, betrayals, lawyers…. 30 000 employees, positive turnover, market leader. At its head, a 30 years old man, ruling his universe like a tyran, never yielding to his inner emotions…. A nasty bastard, so his jealous opponents would say….so little they know…
This was how it looked like to be married with one of the most powerful man ever. You better had to be strong enough to endure the envy, the jealousy, the nasty tricks life and people had in reserve for you, you better not be afraid of loneliness, of having a few friends, none most of the time… You better be prepared to men smiling at your face, then looking greedily at your ass, wondering how much cost your lacy underwears… You better be prepared to women smiling at your face, then mocking you behind your back, desperately hoping they could fuck your husband and take your place in the matrimonial bed.
Inuchan's demon side didn't give a damn to those people. On the contrary, she tended to have major fun in freaking them out. It was so easy: a glare, a growl and the fierceless wolves turned into innocent, creeping sheep.
How she despised them, sometimes.
How she despised what her life had become, sometimes.
***
You see what I mean
About us.
About everything that bears my real name.
It's because I cannot see my real self as a potential character. No novel will be written about me as I see myself. (Don't tell me I have too much ego, the thing is: you have to be, if you wanna write, least a blog entry...Think about it)
It will always have to be wrapped under clothes and garments, where the flaws inevitably show, but also faint glimpses of what I had alway want to be.
Maybe that's why my childhood was full of flying, magical creatures, preferably Unicorns. Maybe that's why I now bear puppy eyes and silver hair.
And immortality as a curse.
*******
STORY-TELLING PART II (circa January 2004)
this isn't worth a new thread... ^ ^
don't expect part two before long...
faked reality...
***
Part one -settings-
Inuchan tapped impatiently her claw on the phone.
- ….and I am telling you to sue that Rowling lady, she said. I just read her latest Harry Potter # 45 thingy - well the blueprint of it- ….. If having that Lord Voldemort being an actual "dog-demon" isn't leeching , then I am Mary Poppins, for sure! And I do not even mention the offence made to my race, it seems so far beyond your understanting faculties….
A somewhat confused voice answered uneasily.
- ….her "lawyers"? laughed Inuchan. See if I am afraid of them! Just tell them my husband is the President of the A-Corp, she added with a lower, threatening tone. Just tell them we could break Mrs Rowling's business, if we wanted to… If those people do not get anything about ethics and honours, let's talk about what they understand: m-o-n-e-y…..
She hung up for good, with a little smile. Like if she cared about money herself….. Her gaze went around the office, the white walls, the priceless furniture, the huge windows overlooking the city…. Like if she needed more money… She let herself fall down on her chair, looking idly at the range of books, standing in perfect alignment on her desk, like little faithful soldiers. All of them wearing her name on the frontpage. All of them hiding the same stories of passion and power, love and betrayal…..All what people wanted. All what people were ready to give money for….
The shrill ringtone again, cold and inhuman.
-Yes?
The same confused voice, telling Inuchan what she already knew: Rowlings' lawyers were ready to delay the printing process, and have J.K. suppress the 'dog-demon" reference. She hung up again, not even feeling thrilled by the mayhem she had just started: panic at Rowling's publishers, huge loss of money, postponing of all the marketing events and the movie, not mentioning the loss of credibility….and millions and millions of children waiting for their beloved hero's new adventures….. Human emotions were somewhat out of her reach, especially when it came to use them for economic purpose. Being a writer herself - a famous one - she knew too well how it worked. She knew the system was rotten, it was selling dreams for cheap to naive people.
It was'nt even about celebrity.
It was a question of pride.
It was a question of dignity.
It was a question of power.
Or maybe was it just about having fun?
Inuchan heard the appartment door slam. Then her keen dog ears made out a muffled "thud", a body falling on a couch. Inuchan left her desk, then entered the lounge. A purple sunset bathed the large room, the black couch, the glass table, and somewhat further, the stainless steel of the kitchen appliances.…. She walked through the space like a ghost, her bare feet sliding on the floor, her silky kimono rustling around her body. She sat next the man resting on the couch, and peeped at his tense face, his not too welcoming glance. He nervously lit a Red Marlboro, then threw the pack onto the glass table, and seemed to quiet down a bit as his lips released greyish clouds of smoke.
Mister President looked pretty pissed off, tonight, she thought, as she played idly with one of his dark hairlock. Better not teasing him too hard. She put an interrrogative expression in her gaze, waiting for his to meet hers. But he avoided it however, unwilling to start a conversation.
-To hell with those damn fashion -models-to-be, growled Stovila, to himself. They are never satisfied…… As if it was MY fault if they aren't good looking chicks….
Then he rose, with not a single look at Inuchan, and rushed to the bedroom.
Inuchan smiled, as she heard him taking a shower. Better let him alone for now: she wasn't in the mood to start a fight right now. Not yet, to be more accurate.
On the ashtray, the cigarette kept burning quietly.
***
For those who wondered what the hell that "A-corp" could be, let's say it was the Image Empire on Earth. Not a single web-interface, not a single TV logo, not a single software layout that wasn't "A-corp copyrighted". Had you ever marvelled at those beautiful posters invading the walls of the cities, offering their 3m x 5m sized dreaming pictures to the people's eagerness? A-corp credited. Had you ever drooled at those beautiful faces on famous magazines' covers? A-corp, at your service.. Also add CD booklets' art, DVD producing, entertainment providing, photo-books, Art Galleries, and there you have an idea of what A-corp represents: a World of Pictures, with Fame and Fortune, and the Crap that goes with It: jealousy, betrayals, lawyers…. 30 000 employees, positive turnover, market leader. At its head, a 30 years old man, ruling his universe like a tyran, never yielding to his inner emotions…. A nasty bastard, so his jealous opponents would say….so little they know…
This was how it looked like to be married with one of the most powerful man ever. You better had to be strong enough to endure the envy, the jealousy, the nasty tricks life and people had in reserve for you, you better not be afraid of loneliness, of having a few friends, none most of the time… You better be prepared to men smiling at your face, then looking greedily at your ass, wondering how much cost your lacy underwears… You better be prepared to women smiling at your face, then mocking you behind your back, desperately hoping they could fuck your husband and take your place in the matrimonial bed.
Inuchan's demon side didn't give a damn to those people. On the contrary, she tended to have major fun in freaking them out. It was so easy: a glare, a growl and the fierceless wolves turned into innocent, creeping sheep.
How she despised them, sometimes.
How she despised what her life had become, sometimes.
***
You see what I mean
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Shut up and never sing again, it's illegal.
In France there are legal actions planned to close every websites publishing lyrics, because this is stealing.
the French law project, which is a direct transcription of the European EUCD (equivalent of the American DMCA)
In America, actions will be taken against websites publishing tabs (guitar scores, to make it short), because this is stealing.
a BBC article about it
Somewhere in the future, someone has been jailed for stealing a song: he had been caught singing it on his bath, without the authorization by the artist...
the French law project, which is a direct transcription of the European EUCD (equivalent of the American DMCA)
In America, actions will be taken against websites publishing tabs (guitar scores, to make it short), because this is stealing.
a BBC article about it
Somewhere in the future, someone has been jailed for stealing a song: he had been caught singing it on his bath, without the authorization by the artist...
Sunday, December 25, 2005
C'est Noel
And its in French !!
Am savouring my Indochine album right now, discovering a new thrill whenever I hear a new song... This, a book by Nicola Sirkis, and C&H the complete collection, this is all I got, and it is more than enough. What I really want though, my baby close to me, is not yet reaching, but someday someday.
Christmas is gone, thank you very much, somehow it was our worst Christmas ever, the saddest to be sure....Things like that happen I guess... I am tired of trying and make things as perfect as I can. I am tired of fighting for a Christmas that would be as I always want them to be. Somehow, I got a too book-like vision of Christmas, that's the problem. Reality always twist things upside down, and I am helpless about it.
Not my point to make a "here is the Xmas in the life of Ichiban". That's pointless, first of all, and I perfectly know the people have other things to do. More interesting blogs or Christmas activities to do, like eating chocolate and experiencing their brand new gifts.
Books books books, and a brand new one offered by my parents. Bad news, that's the title, and it is pretty well written. I forget HP's world for awhile, and discover those bittersweet short stories, written in simple , nearly childish words, but which are little jems.
As I am thinking about my asleep baby, I feel like the night is less dark, the cold less bitter, and the troubles all bearable all in all. I will warm myself at the memories of our embraces, keeping deep inside the will to go on and the wise idea of shutting the hell up when my job (well, hat is left of) is at sake.
Sometimes I really wonder why I take the time writing pointless events in a life out of millions.
I still dunno if I gonna allow comments here or not, but meanwhile I leave the gates open.
Am savouring my Indochine album right now, discovering a new thrill whenever I hear a new song... This, a book by Nicola Sirkis, and C&H the complete collection, this is all I got, and it is more than enough. What I really want though, my baby close to me, is not yet reaching, but someday someday.
Christmas is gone, thank you very much, somehow it was our worst Christmas ever, the saddest to be sure....Things like that happen I guess... I am tired of trying and make things as perfect as I can. I am tired of fighting for a Christmas that would be as I always want them to be. Somehow, I got a too book-like vision of Christmas, that's the problem. Reality always twist things upside down, and I am helpless about it.
Not my point to make a "here is the Xmas in the life of Ichiban". That's pointless, first of all, and I perfectly know the people have other things to do. More interesting blogs or Christmas activities to do, like eating chocolate and experiencing their brand new gifts.
Books books books, and a brand new one offered by my parents. Bad news, that's the title, and it is pretty well written. I forget HP's world for awhile, and discover those bittersweet short stories, written in simple , nearly childish words, but which are little jems.
As I am thinking about my asleep baby, I feel like the night is less dark, the cold less bitter, and the troubles all bearable all in all. I will warm myself at the memories of our embraces, keeping deep inside the will to go on and the wise idea of shutting the hell up when my job (well, hat is left of) is at sake.
Sometimes I really wonder why I take the time writing pointless events in a life out of millions.
I still dunno if I gonna allow comments here or not, but meanwhile I leave the gates open.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Indochine !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!!
guess who got her copy of the new album by Inodchine, 2CD limited edition, on Saturday 17, which is TWO DAYS before the official release date?
huh?
huh?
YES THAT'S ME, BABY !!!!XD
Okay, that's the kind of a basic fangirl, but I was really surprised how easy it was to get it, whearas in the country next door it was nowhere to be seen, or already out of stock...
4 days to go, and i'll be unwrapping it from under the Xmas tree hehe...Yup, I still have traditions, maybe old-fashioned, like opening presents on December 24, even if I bought them by myself, for myself...
I just can't wait....
huh?
huh?
YES THAT'S ME, BABY !!!!XD
Okay, that's the kind of a basic fangirl, but I was really surprised how easy it was to get it, whearas in the country next door it was nowhere to be seen, or already out of stock...
4 days to go, and i'll be unwrapping it from under the Xmas tree hehe...Yup, I still have traditions, maybe old-fashioned, like opening presents on December 24, even if I bought them by myself, for myself...
I just can't wait....
Thursday, December 15, 2005
bedazzeld and confused
Daiforum is encountering technical problems again.
Funny how those happen at critical moments for us: first it was during the dai breaking up announcement, and now the database decided to screw up two days after our Emperor told us the forum might close. So far, Mav' took the whole thing up, and thanx to some generous anonymous, the forum fees should be paid for the next year at least. . A big thanks to Alex, who is making a great job as an Admin', let's hope for the best.
This and a possible dissolution of the company I work for scheduled on early January. Time to polish my resume.
Else than this, I try and forget my anxiety (yes, losing a home, even a virtual one, is a stressful experience), reading away a lot of various materials. From blogs to the bible, NArnia and Harry Potter, I use this urge for reading as thre were no tomorrow to keep my brain processing something else than adrenaline. Bye bye to coffee and chocolate too, and with New year's celebration coming, must be agood thing.
The Bible yes, you read correctly. Thse who know me might wonder, for I am not what you call your regular Christian. I do believe that's a fact, in God and after-life, but have some troubles with His religion. However, I periodically have those urge to browse around in this compilation of sacred books that are the foundation of a whole civilization. How we think, how we react, how we love, how we hate, how we judge.
Generally I do not read it from alpha to omega, I simple peruse to some of my favourite passages, the Apocalypse being my all time favourite. Then comes the Wisdom books, proverbs and ecclesiastes; Genesis, and Qohelet.
Reading also various articles from a magazine dedicating its pages to the Bokk of all books, I am also interested by the relation that non-believers have with the Bible. Believer or not, it still fascinates its reader, by its form simply, or by the strenght of its language. (then again, translations are so numerous it resembles more a maze than a revelation).
Narnia then. I try to read it with children eyes. I try to segregate it from JR Tolkien and the whole aspect of love/hate relationship with CS Lewis. I think I read Narnia to have a mental image first, I don't want Disney's to pollute my imagination.
some many informations, with so little time to deal with. After work, I think I gonna browse around for books and records. Don't wanna buy any, just empty my mind from the pollution of stress.
Funny how those happen at critical moments for us: first it was during the dai breaking up announcement, and now the database decided to screw up two days after our Emperor told us the forum might close. So far, Mav' took the whole thing up, and thanx to some generous anonymous, the forum fees should be paid for the next year at least. . A big thanks to Alex, who is making a great job as an Admin', let's hope for the best.
This and a possible dissolution of the company I work for scheduled on early January. Time to polish my resume.
Else than this, I try and forget my anxiety (yes, losing a home, even a virtual one, is a stressful experience), reading away a lot of various materials. From blogs to the bible, NArnia and Harry Potter, I use this urge for reading as thre were no tomorrow to keep my brain processing something else than adrenaline. Bye bye to coffee and chocolate too, and with New year's celebration coming, must be agood thing.
The Bible yes, you read correctly. Thse who know me might wonder, for I am not what you call your regular Christian. I do believe that's a fact, in God and after-life, but have some troubles with His religion. However, I periodically have those urge to browse around in this compilation of sacred books that are the foundation of a whole civilization. How we think, how we react, how we love, how we hate, how we judge.
Generally I do not read it from alpha to omega, I simple peruse to some of my favourite passages, the Apocalypse being my all time favourite. Then comes the Wisdom books, proverbs and ecclesiastes; Genesis, and Qohelet.
Reading also various articles from a magazine dedicating its pages to the Bokk of all books, I am also interested by the relation that non-believers have with the Bible. Believer or not, it still fascinates its reader, by its form simply, or by the strenght of its language. (then again, translations are so numerous it resembles more a maze than a revelation).
Narnia then. I try to read it with children eyes. I try to segregate it from JR Tolkien and the whole aspect of love/hate relationship with CS Lewis. I think I read Narnia to have a mental image first, I don't want Disney's to pollute my imagination.
some many informations, with so little time to deal with. After work, I think I gonna browse around for books and records. Don't wanna buy any, just empty my mind from the pollution of stress.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
ALL FOR DAIFORUM !!!
this forum means.... haha, do i have to explain why?
it means not only having found my specialsomeone thru it, it also mean enjoying a chat with people i consider as friends (i don't think i would get 13000+ posts if it wasn't for the sake of talking with friends...................)
. it is an investment of time , of reading, of trying to make a good job, of pondering about which decision is best, what would be an improvement, things like this...
its like having a place where the people around do not judge, but are open to new things.
And i don't wanna lose my friends.
And , if something can be done to save that place as it is (of course a free forum is an option, but the lost of 2 and a half years of threads is a forever loss), well, i will do it.
not out of personal interest, since a board brings nothing in general, materially speaking.
But spiritually, it is infinite.
Like the name of the Band we have registered for the love of.
call it Mod' bragging along, call it manifesto, call it whatever, it is just an outcry from the bottom of what some call soul.
Inuchan--
Monday, December 12, 2005
Lazybone quizz
ok, I put this in here meanwhile..
Thank you FOB for the linky !!
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
I am Mystical w00t!!!
Thank you FOB for the linky !!
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
I am Mystical w00t!!!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
"Santa Claus is coming to town"
I bought a box of Xmas cards about two weeks ago. Checking on my address book, I realize that the box will be of some use again for next year…
Tummy troubles, and the will to stay in bed all day, under the sheets, with a good book. My body feels weak, not willing to eat much. I am tired of sandwiches, and the gloomy sky doesn’t make me feel like cooking big things…
Christmas is a-coming, and yet again I feel in between joy and sadness… Why all the troubles seem to pile on in December I wonder… I am dreaming of a white, old fashioned Christmas, with a hearth and everyone gathered around it, eating Xmas food in a Xmas mood. I am not to complain though, I am lucky to have a family that sticks to tradition, that is willing to dress up in Xmas gear, with candles on the table, a red cloth, nice napkins and venison for a meal. And present under the Xmas tree, small ones, but meaningful. Often it’s not the amount of presents, but the heart you put on it.
My grandma being ill though, I wonder how this very Xmas celebration is gonna be. I don’t expect anything of it, just it to be the less sad as possible. Doing as if everything was okay, at least, not ruining it all.
New year will be celebrated within the family too. I guess that, after that crazy year, we all need some time for ourselves. The joy you get is the one you spare for themselves. A bit like the saying that you have to love yourself, to be able to love the others. It makes sense, cuz’ that way you can make yourself ready and at your best. And don’t you wanna give the best of yo to your beloved ones?
Gosh hom I miss my Beloved One....
Tummy troubles, and the will to stay in bed all day, under the sheets, with a good book. My body feels weak, not willing to eat much. I am tired of sandwiches, and the gloomy sky doesn’t make me feel like cooking big things…
Christmas is a-coming, and yet again I feel in between joy and sadness… Why all the troubles seem to pile on in December I wonder… I am dreaming of a white, old fashioned Christmas, with a hearth and everyone gathered around it, eating Xmas food in a Xmas mood. I am not to complain though, I am lucky to have a family that sticks to tradition, that is willing to dress up in Xmas gear, with candles on the table, a red cloth, nice napkins and venison for a meal. And present under the Xmas tree, small ones, but meaningful. Often it’s not the amount of presents, but the heart you put on it.
My grandma being ill though, I wonder how this very Xmas celebration is gonna be. I don’t expect anything of it, just it to be the less sad as possible. Doing as if everything was okay, at least, not ruining it all.
New year will be celebrated within the family too. I guess that, after that crazy year, we all need some time for ourselves. The joy you get is the one you spare for themselves. A bit like the saying that you have to love yourself, to be able to love the others. It makes sense, cuz’ that way you can make yourself ready and at your best. And don’t you wanna give the best of yo to your beloved ones?
Gosh hom I miss my Beloved One....
Monday, December 05, 2005
Independant ours
Independent
Just free all of you~ free all of you
People say look ahead with a straight back with stern face
Then you find stable prosperous job
And the wise man says,
Just believe in your instinct and everything will turn out fine
(…)
Grow up! You gonna use your head
Grow up! You gonna be ahead
If you don't, you'll be left out
like an ordinary girl, all the rest
Grow up! you gonna to use your head
Grow up! you gonna be ahead
Find your soul, just let it flow
Independant you!
~Cherry Filter~
So the unavoidable is due to happen at last.
And to be honest, I really am starting to freak out… Not because of losing my job, I mean, who haven’t gone through that event in our today’s society?
I am afraid to make the wrong choices, there are so many correlated issues… No job anymore will mean no apartment anymore. And no apartment will mean no independence. Getting a job, yes but where? I must think of what will come when we are together Mon’ and I. Somehow I cannot stuck myself anywhere, until the day we are together. But without money, making a living together is impossible, or at least tricky. I wanna be ready to follow him when time comes.
There is no life without him, I am certain of it.
Somehow I hope to be able to make my own choices, in some extend. The choices that will eventually be the best. But ah, that’s the problem. I am afraid to get stuck in that little town of mine, and being obliged to accept anything, thus closing doors ahead of me. In that world where at least 20 people are awaiting for the tiniest job, how to convince possible employers that I am better than what my resume is saying? Who would give a chance to a little assistant in a near bankrupted society?
As the song says I gotta use my head. And quick. Whining away or crying in terror won’t come to any good. We see everyday, in movies comics or series, super extraordinary people fighting against evil, well I guess that a day in an ordinary girl’s life must be taken the same.
Oftentimes, people have told me that my biggest weakness was to always think down on my capacities. Not that I pretend that I a better than anyone else, but I am at certain to have qualities, capacities than others might not have.
I lack feedback though. I know that the closest person I can rely on have his own troubles, and I must be strong. Moreover, I want to prove him that he is right in seeing all those qualities in me. Friends and acquaintances? Ah but then again I never been used to whine away on the phone or through emails about my problems. The girls reunions or hens day a la Cosmopolitan, no thanks.
I am a loner somehow, a geek, an independent woman, in mind at least. Fame or pricey clothes never impressed me. Maybe I lack that tiny spark of self confidence that could have me achieve things. And on that I mean getting a nice job and a place to live in.
Sexy Librarian, anyone? ;)
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Bowling for Columbine and the Xbox 360 Commercial
Sometimes the irony of life has interesting twists…
Last night I seen “Bowling For Columbine for the first time. For those who might not know it, it is a documentary directed by Michael Moore, after the shootings that occurred in columbine High School, in Littleton, on April, 20, 1999.
Bowling for Columbine (Wikipedia)
Not my point here to discuss if Michael Moore might be right or wrong, but this movie echoed with some commercial I have seen yesterday… the now all famous banned commercial for the new Xbox 360.
Banned CM
….where we can see people mimicking a “shoot ‘em all” in what looks like a big Mall, very a la cop movie. They do not carry weapons or guns. They yell “bang”, pointing a finger at their supposed victim, which then pretend to collapse. The whole thing on a funny background music, kinda like a bunch of brats playing guns.
Granted, this one has been banned for obvious reasons, certainly it is not a good example to show to kids. Maybe they might get some weird ideas, you know, begging for a pricey playstation or worse, borrowing daddy’s 9mm , and go postal at school. Sadly enough that second option has occurred more than once, so yeah, I won’t disagree on the banning issue.
But still I'd like to highlight some points that amazed me.
There is something particularly disturbing when I hear some people making a parallel with terrorism. If all the shooting scenes would lead to terrorism acts, then it is not one commercial we should ban, but the whole cinematographic and TV panel, from Theater release to documentary, Tv news of course, and cops series. All in all, it would mean banning about a third of what the visual media produce.
I do not making myself the advocate of violence. I simply would like to highlight that it sounds to me more like some hypocritical decision, rather than something accomplished for the humanity welfare.
Let’s ban the commercial, but not the games themselves.
Let’s blame Marilyn Manson ( a guy who, btw, has a more intelligent discourse than Charlton Heston promoting the NRA) and Tarantino movies , but let’s shut up on the fact that Clinton bombed a lot of innocent people (medication factories and schools: where the fuck were the terrorist in there?)
Let’s ban Harry Potter books and movies, where people obviously die in huge pain (ever read HP 6? And how Harry obliges Dumbledore to swallow the potion that is gonna kill him at last?)
Let’s have our kids get their own internet connexion in their own room (when sometimes the parents hardly know how internet works all in all…MSN? MMORPG? Communities?…)
Let’s scream against terrorism, but advocate some bombing “for the own sake of our country” (insert any country name you’d like, I think a lot of them do lead a policy of “attacking first so that we are safe”).
Let’s all declare that games are the roots of all evil, that commercial are what causes all the violence, but let’s close our eyes on the fact that people get bombed, or verbally harassed and assaulted (one of the biggest problem in the corporate world..). Let’s forget that Japan is the biggest producer of violent games…with the lowest crime rate. (Suicide being out of the point here)
Hitler or Mussolini never played with a Xbox.
For once, let’s face the fact that deranged people do not need a movie or a commercial to put their weird ideas into action.
Let’s face the fact that if the daddys or retailers hadn’t such an easy access to guns, maybe kids won’t be able to shoot people as easily….. (selling ammos in supermarket, is IMO, far more dangerous than watching a silly commercial: because this is not a second degree humourous tv spot, it is reality, real ammos you can get along with a pack of crackers or a can of juice).
Let’s face the fact that as long as society will blame the wrong culprits, you can be certain violence will still be around. And not for the supposed obvious reasons everyone is complaining about.
Last night I seen “Bowling For Columbine for the first time. For those who might not know it, it is a documentary directed by Michael Moore, after the shootings that occurred in columbine High School, in Littleton, on April, 20, 1999.
Bowling for Columbine (Wikipedia)
Not my point here to discuss if Michael Moore might be right or wrong, but this movie echoed with some commercial I have seen yesterday… the now all famous banned commercial for the new Xbox 360.
Banned CM
….where we can see people mimicking a “shoot ‘em all” in what looks like a big Mall, very a la cop movie. They do not carry weapons or guns. They yell “bang”, pointing a finger at their supposed victim, which then pretend to collapse. The whole thing on a funny background music, kinda like a bunch of brats playing guns.
Granted, this one has been banned for obvious reasons, certainly it is not a good example to show to kids. Maybe they might get some weird ideas, you know, begging for a pricey playstation or worse, borrowing daddy’s 9mm , and go postal at school. Sadly enough that second option has occurred more than once, so yeah, I won’t disagree on the banning issue.
But still I'd like to highlight some points that amazed me.
There is something particularly disturbing when I hear some people making a parallel with terrorism. If all the shooting scenes would lead to terrorism acts, then it is not one commercial we should ban, but the whole cinematographic and TV panel, from Theater release to documentary, Tv news of course, and cops series. All in all, it would mean banning about a third of what the visual media produce.
I do not making myself the advocate of violence. I simply would like to highlight that it sounds to me more like some hypocritical decision, rather than something accomplished for the humanity welfare.
Let’s ban the commercial, but not the games themselves.
Let’s blame Marilyn Manson ( a guy who, btw, has a more intelligent discourse than Charlton Heston promoting the NRA) and Tarantino movies , but let’s shut up on the fact that Clinton bombed a lot of innocent people (medication factories and schools: where the fuck were the terrorist in there?)
Let’s ban Harry Potter books and movies, where people obviously die in huge pain (ever read HP 6? And how Harry obliges Dumbledore to swallow the potion that is gonna kill him at last?)
Let’s have our kids get their own internet connexion in their own room (when sometimes the parents hardly know how internet works all in all…MSN? MMORPG? Communities?…)
Let’s scream against terrorism, but advocate some bombing “for the own sake of our country” (insert any country name you’d like, I think a lot of them do lead a policy of “attacking first so that we are safe”).
Let’s all declare that games are the roots of all evil, that commercial are what causes all the violence, but let’s close our eyes on the fact that people get bombed, or verbally harassed and assaulted (one of the biggest problem in the corporate world..). Let’s forget that Japan is the biggest producer of violent games…with the lowest crime rate. (Suicide being out of the point here)
Hitler or Mussolini never played with a Xbox.
For once, let’s face the fact that deranged people do not need a movie or a commercial to put their weird ideas into action.
Let’s face the fact that if the daddys or retailers hadn’t such an easy access to guns, maybe kids won’t be able to shoot people as easily….. (selling ammos in supermarket, is IMO, far more dangerous than watching a silly commercial: because this is not a second degree humourous tv spot, it is reality, real ammos you can get along with a pack of crackers or a can of juice).
Let’s face the fact that as long as society will blame the wrong culprits, you can be certain violence will still be around. And not for the supposed obvious reasons everyone is complaining about.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Alice & June !!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAHAL KO!! *mwah*
***
Yup, no brainstorming entry today, I feel in a giggly mood, and willing to leave philosophy outside, in the cold white snow...and maybe start a big snowballs mayhem major battle...gosh I miss those...the one when you came home soaked and all white, your feet like ice, your hands reddened, and a healthy pink glow on your cheeks...then quick, rush to the fire, and a cup of hot chocolate (real one, with the cocoa powder you have to melt with cold milk first)
**
Feels like a revolution, because yours truely has finally a soundcard installed !! And some headphones, so that I can listen to my fav radio stations ^^ Big highfive to my colleague, who proposd to install the card, without my asking him. there are nice people on planet Earth I tell you!!
***
time to rejoice, fans of INDOCHINE !!! their new album will be released on December, 19 !!!
Let's say that those guys are the French Cure, hehe...Me love their music (ok, ok, I know I do sound like a retarded teenager, but heck , is their music entertaining!! Am now sizzling with impatience....
***
***
Yup, no brainstorming entry today, I feel in a giggly mood, and willing to leave philosophy outside, in the cold white snow...and maybe start a big snowballs mayhem major battle...gosh I miss those...the one when you came home soaked and all white, your feet like ice, your hands reddened, and a healthy pink glow on your cheeks...then quick, rush to the fire, and a cup of hot chocolate (real one, with the cocoa powder you have to melt with cold milk first)
**
Feels like a revolution, because yours truely has finally a soundcard installed !! And some headphones, so that I can listen to my fav radio stations ^^ Big highfive to my colleague, who proposd to install the card, without my asking him. there are nice people on planet Earth I tell you!!
***
time to rejoice, fans of INDOCHINE !!! their new album will be released on December, 19 !!!
Let's say that those guys are the French Cure, hehe...Me love their music (ok, ok, I know I do sound like a retarded teenager, but heck , is their music entertaining!! Am now sizzling with impatience....
***
Friday, November 25, 2005
For the Future
Last concert in Budoukan for Do As Infinity, my favourite Japanese band...
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna mourn, just celebrate the two and a half years of great musical moments, as well as a meaning to my life, and a true love to my soul.
And cherish their music forever.
The Show Must Go On...
DAI ROCKS !!!
And a hayypy birthday to Clairobsc', my bestest friend, always present in my thought even if far away.... sometimes the calendar has some irony that makes you see life thru another pair of glasses...^^
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna mourn, just celebrate the two and a half years of great musical moments, as well as a meaning to my life, and a true love to my soul.
And cherish their music forever.
The Show Must Go On...
DAI ROCKS !!!
And a hayypy birthday to Clairobsc', my bestest friend, always present in my thought even if far away.... sometimes the calendar has some irony that makes you see life thru another pair of glasses...^^
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Seasons thinkings
So far, I am decided not to complain anymore. As Calvin’s dad would say “it builds character” so why not taking upon myself more often, think less, and get that paranoid feeling outta my head for good.
I think that it is sort of a family aspect, so to speak. Being used to do anything the very opposite way than other (be it the car we own, the house we live in, or merely the ideas we have). Not than I complain about it, no way. I love my family because of its marginality, its “survivor” feeling, its genuine simplicity and fun. We laugh a lot. We snap at each other sometimes, but that’s the way it is when you put strong personalities together.
As long as I can recall, I’ve always been/seen myself different. And, once the elementary school and first year in HS over, been rather proud about it. My family have always been there for me, supporting me in all my hard times. They’ve always done the maximum for me. I remember all my Christmases being fun times, even there were only little under the Christmas tree. I still have some of those presents by now. I remember one, especially: A “my little pony” house. At that time, it had cost an arm and a leg to my dad, I know it. And I treasured that gift more than ever. I remember how happy I was – I still can see myself opening the wrapping paper with trembling hands.
As Xmas time draws near, I know that my mind gonna linger over those memories, tress, candles, wood fire and winter cold. I remember as it was yesterday the drawings we made in schools, then, ona cold Saturday, the preparation of the Xmas tree, the decorations that were there before I was born – and still are. (but for a few ones broken, the law of gravity has no feelings sometimes^^) . I remember the gorgeous presents my friends were showing off, but I didn’t care. Nothing could replace the time spent with my family, and certainly not precious presents.
Not even the insults, the nasty tricks. I remember how the kids would steal my winter bonnet, and throw it in a garbage bin. I would scream at them, yelling to them, finally getting all the blame from my teachers ….But I would have died rather than telling my mom everyone was making fun of her present to me.
I guess that’s why I am so ‘I don’t care about fashion” attitude. Everyone go a driving license and I look like a retard for not owning a car? So what? Still, sometimes I cannot reach that feeling of blessed detachment I am yearning for. Some words still hurt me, even if I know the people telling them to me aren’t worth my getting upset at. Old reflexes you know….
Die hard ones.
And now it seems that the wheel has turned my way at last. My job is not a gratifying one, but it pays the bills, and allow me to give my family and loved ones presents. Real ones, meaningful, helpful ones. I don’t know what all those kids, ghosts of my past, have become. I wish them an honest life, and I sincerely wish that their own kids won’t have to suffer from what I did suffer. I don’t wish to anyone being treated as the ugly ducklings.
Maybe there is something hard inside of me. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time to open myself, unveil myself. Those who knows me can see what my real me is….someone rather funny, rather enthusiastic, rather fragile. And one person only can see how I love, one only. I thank whoever above for having kept this ability to love unharmed.
Just because of that, I want to feel grateful, and forget about everything else.
I think that it is sort of a family aspect, so to speak. Being used to do anything the very opposite way than other (be it the car we own, the house we live in, or merely the ideas we have). Not than I complain about it, no way. I love my family because of its marginality, its “survivor” feeling, its genuine simplicity and fun. We laugh a lot. We snap at each other sometimes, but that’s the way it is when you put strong personalities together.
As long as I can recall, I’ve always been/seen myself different. And, once the elementary school and first year in HS over, been rather proud about it. My family have always been there for me, supporting me in all my hard times. They’ve always done the maximum for me. I remember all my Christmases being fun times, even there were only little under the Christmas tree. I still have some of those presents by now. I remember one, especially: A “my little pony” house. At that time, it had cost an arm and a leg to my dad, I know it. And I treasured that gift more than ever. I remember how happy I was – I still can see myself opening the wrapping paper with trembling hands.
As Xmas time draws near, I know that my mind gonna linger over those memories, tress, candles, wood fire and winter cold. I remember as it was yesterday the drawings we made in schools, then, ona cold Saturday, the preparation of the Xmas tree, the decorations that were there before I was born – and still are. (but for a few ones broken, the law of gravity has no feelings sometimes^^) . I remember the gorgeous presents my friends were showing off, but I didn’t care. Nothing could replace the time spent with my family, and certainly not precious presents.
Not even the insults, the nasty tricks. I remember how the kids would steal my winter bonnet, and throw it in a garbage bin. I would scream at them, yelling to them, finally getting all the blame from my teachers ….But I would have died rather than telling my mom everyone was making fun of her present to me.
I guess that’s why I am so ‘I don’t care about fashion” attitude. Everyone go a driving license and I look like a retard for not owning a car? So what? Still, sometimes I cannot reach that feeling of blessed detachment I am yearning for. Some words still hurt me, even if I know the people telling them to me aren’t worth my getting upset at. Old reflexes you know….
Die hard ones.
And now it seems that the wheel has turned my way at last. My job is not a gratifying one, but it pays the bills, and allow me to give my family and loved ones presents. Real ones, meaningful, helpful ones. I don’t know what all those kids, ghosts of my past, have become. I wish them an honest life, and I sincerely wish that their own kids won’t have to suffer from what I did suffer. I don’t wish to anyone being treated as the ugly ducklings.
Maybe there is something hard inside of me. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time to open myself, unveil myself. Those who knows me can see what my real me is….someone rather funny, rather enthusiastic, rather fragile. And one person only can see how I love, one only. I thank whoever above for having kept this ability to love unharmed.
Just because of that, I want to feel grateful, and forget about everything else.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Billy Corgan
http://www.billycorgan.com/confession01.html
By the Leader of Ex-Smashing Pumkins....
One of my favorite writer, too...
"My real name is William Patrick Corgan, and I was born at Columbus Hospital (just across from beautiful Lincoln Park which straddles Lake Michigan) in Chicago at 5:41 pm on March 17, 1967...most know me as Billy Corgan, but "he" didn't arrive until age 18...my father was Billy, and I was known to the family as "little" Bill...I am the architect of the "Billy Corgan" that you know and love, or hate, or don't give 2 cares about...I created him, and at times have loved him, feared him, and despised him more than you could possibly dream up...it is the author of this being that wants to tell you this story...depending on how you look at it, it is the brutal truth or a sad sob story...a tale of glory and failure or the fictional scrapings of a madman and has-been...the author is ok with however you take it, because it happened TO ME...the closets are thrown open, and the sweet mist of a life blown by come spilling out...there are dead bodies and old pictures and pornographic gasps and ghosts so shy they are the ghosts of ghosts...but all the voices are here, and they want to talk to you...in fact, there is a fight as to who goes first! But it's all the same, cause in my mind all is happening at all times...backwards and forwards, we can survey what has happened and what is yet to come, and have a laugh and a cry...but in the end, it is my wish that there will be no more secrets worth keeping, and no more fear worth running from...all that should remain is the clear heart and a vibrant joy, and of course, music..."
Copyright 2005 Billy Corgan.
By the Leader of Ex-Smashing Pumkins....
One of my favorite writer, too...
Friday, November 18, 2005
Books life etcetera
Posted: Nov 17 2005, 10:01 AM
ichiban
hello kitty cat! o(m^-^)oo(^-^s)o
Group: Moderator
Posts: 12998
Joined: 20-August 03
QUOTE (mojo shivers @ Nov 17 2005, 11:11 AM)
I know, I just know that I'm going to have the same feeling that I had last night. I'm going to be sitting there twenty or thirty years from now thinking about how Tierney is great and all, but I should have held out for my Carisa. I should have stuck it out and held out for what I really wanted. I don't see anything wrong in wanting somebody absolutely right for me and making her my wife. I don't want to get old with someone I still have doubts about. Do you?
Nothing makes a person more bitter and cynical than having to settle for second best.
I don't. I think nobody wants that..
This entry reminded a conversation I had, last week...Context different, sure, but same result :
Him: you think too much, Inu , that's your problem.
Me: I know..*sigh* ...but it's like I have all those thoughts running around, preventing me to feel things, to live them...
Him: exactly. Why don't you simply forget about all those thoughts...
Me: ...
The more you think about the should/would/could have " aspects of the life, the more you get obessed with thoughts about if it is right or wrong. To me there is no should/could/would mode anymore. There are is/is not modes only. Lingering on a past that you cannot turn back is not a good thing. sure it makes good blog entries, and golly knows many of them had me think (yeah, bad habits are die hard lols) life under new light.
But too much is no good, never. Let your heart feel instead of your head. Just for once. There is no perfect life, no perfect people. Only people perfect to each others, but encountering the same problems everyone does have in this life.
biggthumpup.gif
Those interrogations still linger inside, even a week, a day after. Somehow that's the problem when you blog: you tend to peruse too too far away into problem's dephth. I am afraid it hinders the reality sometimes.
Maybe stick to diary-like entry, that's the key. Today I woke up, a bit late, so quick quick in the shower, while the medication gently fill my body with its daily dosis of I-100µ. Then breakfast, yumm yumm and read Calvin and hobbes, making up my weary features, getting some sand color onto my pale face, golden lipsticks and shimmering eyes. A kiss to my baby 10 000 miles away.
See? I could go on endlessly like that, I bet even you would find that "cracotte + Kraft cheese whizz spread" is the best piece of art you'd ever seen, no kidding.
Got into a fuss with my boss, Calvin and hobbes, that's us I swear. He went back apologizing, and since my heart is everything, but prove to keep a grudge on someone, I gladly settled the argument by a hand's shake. So much better than polite indifference or hypocrisy I am so lame at.
Been drooling over Calvin and Hobbes complete edition, the baby weights about 11 kilos (22 lbs, go figure). If I can save enough, maybe I'd give it a try. It is less expensive than buying all the CnH separately (220 euros, against 139.50 for the box set). Big money I know.... But less expensive than bying a new phone (around 300 for a decent one or else why changing) or party clothes (count about 40 euros/each clothes, buy three and your out of budget : thing is, u'll put those only once a YEAR, and for what I tell you?)or a dream iPAQ (400 euros n so).
My mom would go "NOT ANOTHER BOOK, AGAIN", but then , she can go gaga over flowers and plants. even bringing them with her when she moves, with the pot , earth andall... Her argument being: "ok, but you are running out of place already? And what when you gonna move?" Easy mom, just call on the moving guys, and put everything in cartons. that's all I possess anyway: books, and clothes, and cd's. Gets easy in cardboard boxes, easy to store, easy to move.... Not like I have tons of precious furniture i can't even read lols.
I guess passions, as a many things in this world, are irrational anyway. I need my books as others need their soccer championship, thus being ready to pay hundreds of euros on some DSL television servicses, that hasn't even proved to be reliable yet. Others would go partying each Friday or Saturday night, I am not an expert at clubbing, but I bet good ones are not the cheapest.
Awes digressions again. Stream-of-concioussness post, I guess that IF I ever write a book, I'll chose that form...
GONCOURT 2005 "Trois jours chez ma mère", by François Wzyergans. OK, I need someone to lend me the book.
My bday present is all rady, too bad the shop does not feature it. I should have bought it in the Philippines, my, I blame my indecision sometimes.....Ah well, there will be a way out I swear.
'nuff rant for today, which is a happy day, my Baby gonna get his laptop today (and mebe DSL the next week !!!) still a lot of miles between us, but who cares when our hearts stay connected, even more as days pass?
Take care, everyone !
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Back from the Phillippines!!!
Ok, Since I haven't have time to upload al the pics already (more than a thousand, w00t), here is a link where you can view some, plus commentaries.....
The Chronicles of Inuchan and Apprentice
enjoy !!!
The Chronicles of Inuchan and Apprentice
enjoy !!!
Friday, October 28, 2005
3 days left...
So I packed my suitcase, I think I got everything ^_^
I am stressing about the plane already...well, more about to coming to the airport, ticket and luggage check in... Silly I know, but... I can't help it... I wish I could be arrived already....
I MISSSSSSSS YOUUUUUU !!!!!!!!
I am stressing about the plane already...well, more about to coming to the airport, ticket and luggage check in... Silly I know, but... I can't help it... I wish I could be arrived already....
I MISSSSSSSS YOUUUUUU !!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
O.o
I think I gonna blow a fuse......lol
Virus still around, I am starting to experience removal syndrome///
- a tendency to scribble lol whenever given paper
- a tendency to idly type daiforumdotcom, then back off in awe in front of a java applet
- I FRIGGIN MISS MY FELLOWS DAI-LIANS
and the PMs of my honey
***
holidays are coming nearer. i do not do anything good anyway. bet i won't be missed those next two weeks.... got this: those are my legal yearly holidays Sir. you agreed upon those last July, and never complained, nor did any remark, Sir. the only one to blame is certainly not me.
maybe you will realize i am working, all in all.
***
Aside from this...
I am stressed stressed stressed about that plane i have to take. I am not afraid of flying, but I dread missing my plane. Silly I know. some are afraid of spider, I am panic stricken at the idea of seeing my plane taking off without me.
I am sick of those national strike threats approaching: planned for Friday 28, please, let everything be back to normal this Saturday
I am dead panicked about public transportations: if they decide to messa round this Thursday, I gonna be stuck here, whereas I need go home.
I hate strikes, and social uproars. Why friggin' annoy the citizens, when the responsible are never the ones annoyed by no train or no buses: they have their own car and their own drivers.......
Virus still around, I am starting to experience removal syndrome///
- a tendency to scribble lol whenever given paper
- a tendency to idly type daiforumdotcom, then back off in awe in front of a java applet
- I FRIGGIN MISS MY FELLOWS DAI-LIANS
and the PMs of my honey
***
holidays are coming nearer. i do not do anything good anyway. bet i won't be missed those next two weeks.... got this: those are my legal yearly holidays Sir. you agreed upon those last July, and never complained, nor did any remark, Sir. the only one to blame is certainly not me.
maybe you will realize i am working, all in all.
***
Aside from this...
I am stressed stressed stressed about that plane i have to take. I am not afraid of flying, but I dread missing my plane. Silly I know. some are afraid of spider, I am panic stricken at the idea of seeing my plane taking off without me.
I am sick of those national strike threats approaching: planned for Friday 28, please, let everything be back to normal this Saturday
I am dead panicked about public transportations: if they decide to messa round this Thursday, I gonna be stuck here, whereas I need go home.
I hate strikes, and social uproars. Why friggin' annoy the citizens, when the responsible are never the ones annoyed by no train or no buses: they have their own car and their own drivers.......
Monday, October 24, 2005
Things I appreciate
That's yin/yang theory, baby!///
- rainy days when I am cosy home
- reading a good book, near the wood fire, with a cup of hot chocolate when it snows outside
- roasted nori
- a little chat with a friendly cashier
- Listerine
- curling under the blanket, and take a nap
- night
- sunsets
- his picture on my desk
- the smell of fruit cupkakes in the oven
- unagi-sushi
- black chocolate
- les marrons glacés
- violet ink fountain pen
- drawing paper, pencils and notebooks
- pucca accessories
- Japanese pop/rick music
- Dragonlance
- Severus Snipes (the perfect antihero)
- green teas, especially jasmine flavoured
- CK One on my Mahal
- A quiet garden under summer sun
- Chowking
- Suite 860 and number 69
- Poetry
- French Litterature
- Japanese litterature
- salami/confiture sandwiches
- blinkgs for mobile phones
- rain tapping on the windows (when I am cosy inside)
- Gothic Lolitas
- lingerie
- a good horror/comedy movie
- Teen titans cartoon
- tasting lip balm on my pout
- having a pale skin and a rosy mouth
- butterflies and cats
- trains arriving on time
- planes taking off and landing
- ube cake
- rainy days when I am cosy home
- reading a good book, near the wood fire, with a cup of hot chocolate when it snows outside
- roasted nori
- a little chat with a friendly cashier
- Listerine
- curling under the blanket, and take a nap
- night
- sunsets
- his picture on my desk
- the smell of fruit cupkakes in the oven
- unagi-sushi
- black chocolate
- les marrons glacés
- violet ink fountain pen
- drawing paper, pencils and notebooks
- pucca accessories
- Japanese pop/rick music
- Dragonlance
- Severus Snipes (the perfect antihero)
- green teas, especially jasmine flavoured
- CK One on my Mahal
- A quiet garden under summer sun
- Chowking
- Suite 860 and number 69
- Poetry
- French Litterature
- Japanese litterature
- salami/confiture sandwiches
- blinkgs for mobile phones
- rain tapping on the windows (when I am cosy inside)
- Gothic Lolitas
- lingerie
- a good horror/comedy movie
- Teen titans cartoon
- tasting lip balm on my pout
- having a pale skin and a rosy mouth
- butterflies and cats
- trains arriving on time
- planes taking off and landing
- ube cake
Things I detest
Random rant in between files///
- Trojans
- administration people
- cold damp weather
- stressing out for work
- general strikes
- windy days when it rains
- MSN slow webcam network
- rude people in supermarket
- having my clothes ruined by rain
- forgetting my umbrella when it rains
- icky-smelling people in public transportation
- STIB and its "network improvement", when it means suppressing the most convenient bus line
- Blogger being down whenever I really need it
- lack of heat at my office
- Monday mornings as a rule
- sugar in my coffee or tea
- tomatoes (i know i shouldn't....)
- people posting ugly pointless images, not even commenting, and assuming that they do blog
- people posting endless quizz in their blogs
- flash websites, especially with an endless intro
- ugly neon colours in a website
- Belgacom when it screws my DSL connexion
- backups: because i never have time, and it worries me
- people miscalling, but not leaving a message : i NEVER call back.
- my mobile phone provider: my bills are too big
- cars, when i am a passer-by
- the butcher near the office: her wife has a silly voice and a silly smile. and she had me pay 2 euros for a crappy sandwich. I say boycott.
- the cashiers at "Inno galerie"
- whenever i search a book and that it is the only one missing in the bookstore
- the shoes shop that closed THE VERY DAY when i badly needed new shoes
- stilettos when i work
- noisy neighbours when all i want is silence
- HTML code. Especially when I realize it is in fact XHTML or Java scripts I took for HTML
- ugly smileys
- forums that are not powered by Invision :p
- SP2 because it is a necessary evil
- my TV when it loses its colors
- typos
- Hercule Poirot's serie not being aired anymore
- dogs in general: they do not like me i swear!
- never having time enough to do all what i'd want to.....
- Trojans
- administration people
- cold damp weather
- stressing out for work
- general strikes
- windy days when it rains
- MSN slow webcam network
- rude people in supermarket
- having my clothes ruined by rain
- forgetting my umbrella when it rains
- icky-smelling people in public transportation
- STIB and its "network improvement", when it means suppressing the most convenient bus line
- Blogger being down whenever I really need it
- lack of heat at my office
- Monday mornings as a rule
- sugar in my coffee or tea
- tomatoes (i know i shouldn't....)
- people posting ugly pointless images, not even commenting, and assuming that they do blog
- people posting endless quizz in their blogs
- flash websites, especially with an endless intro
- ugly neon colours in a website
- Belgacom when it screws my DSL connexion
- backups: because i never have time, and it worries me
- people miscalling, but not leaving a message : i NEVER call back.
- my mobile phone provider: my bills are too big
- cars, when i am a passer-by
- the butcher near the office: her wife has a silly voice and a silly smile. and she had me pay 2 euros for a crappy sandwich. I say boycott.
- the cashiers at "Inno galerie"
- whenever i search a book and that it is the only one missing in the bookstore
- the shoes shop that closed THE VERY DAY when i badly needed new shoes
- stilettos when i work
- noisy neighbours when all i want is silence
- HTML code. Especially when I realize it is in fact XHTML or Java scripts I took for HTML
- ugly smileys
- forums that are not powered by Invision :p
- SP2 because it is a necessary evil
- my TV when it loses its colors
- typos
- Hercule Poirot's serie not being aired anymore
- dogs in general: they do not like me i swear!
- never having time enough to do all what i'd want to.....
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Virus on DAIboard
yup, DAiforum is, if not down, at least offline for awhile...
Looks like there's a kinda virus, affecting both IE and FF browsers....
Its name looks like "ByteVerify",AVG antivirus spots it in the Java directory... but does not remove it.... for those who has this anti-virus, you can follow some removal instructions here: http://forum.grisoft.cz/freeforum/read.php?4,10178,backpage=,sv=
And here are removal instructions by Symantec (Norton antivirus):that thing sounds rather serious (trojan horse):http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcen...byteverify.html so be careful...
Mav' is now working at it and warned Emperor, let's hope they will find a remedy.... ^*^
i hope it helps !
Meanwhile, some of us have found our helpful shelter at Two Days Later
Looks like there's a kinda virus, affecting both IE and FF browsers....
Its name looks like "ByteVerify",AVG antivirus spots it in the Java directory... but does not remove it.... for those who has this anti-virus, you can follow some removal instructions here: http://forum.grisoft.cz/freeforum/read.php?4,10178,backpage=,sv=
And here are removal instructions by Symantec (Norton antivirus):that thing sounds rather serious (trojan horse):http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcen...byteverify.html so be careful...
Mav' is now working at it and warned Emperor, let's hope they will find a remedy.... ^*^
i hope it helps !
Meanwhile, some of us have found our helpful shelter at Two Days Later
Friday, October 21, 2005
Ann Harper
Visit her website here
Yesterday, I stumbled across her paintings, while searching ofr whatnots…
I remember that this picture caught my eye....
I browsed her gallery a bit (on hers, must I say, the other painter’s works doesn’t appeal me as much), and I got fascinated by the darkness oozing from her paintings. Especially the eyes of the characters, all sad or angry…. All having that same, look-alike, threatening gaze.
The surrounding are no better, dare I say, it felt like entering Stephen King’s worst childhood nightmare…and I kinda like it… I like the way she paints clowns, too… For those who do not know, I do not like clowns. The have never made me smile nor laugh, and I tend to find them pathetic and pitiful. Clowns have that grotesque attitude, able to provoke young children’s mirth…. But as I grew older, I couldn’t find them but sad and tormented.
even more funnier is that I seldom appreciate paintings. I mean, I do not know, nor remember a thing about my art class. I only know that I subjectively react to this or that painting, no matter how famous the work may be…
this one, for example:
Reminds me so much of “The Addams Family’, no offence meant at all… But a family less cheerful, less prone to pranks.. Look at the hatred look of the characters… Never dare I hang that one on my house, really…. But still, I can’t help find it funny…. Notice the clowns, once again…Look at how the children seem sold, even older than the grown ups…
And last, but not least…
My favourite so far…so rich in details that I haven’t had the time yet to analyse everything…..Clowns, again, and a feeling of broken childhood...
Nightmares, anyone? ^^
[to be continued]
Yesterday, I stumbled across her paintings, while searching ofr whatnots…
I remember that this picture caught my eye....
I browsed her gallery a bit (on hers, must I say, the other painter’s works doesn’t appeal me as much), and I got fascinated by the darkness oozing from her paintings. Especially the eyes of the characters, all sad or angry…. All having that same, look-alike, threatening gaze.
The surrounding are no better, dare I say, it felt like entering Stephen King’s worst childhood nightmare…and I kinda like it… I like the way she paints clowns, too… For those who do not know, I do not like clowns. The have never made me smile nor laugh, and I tend to find them pathetic and pitiful. Clowns have that grotesque attitude, able to provoke young children’s mirth…. But as I grew older, I couldn’t find them but sad and tormented.
even more funnier is that I seldom appreciate paintings. I mean, I do not know, nor remember a thing about my art class. I only know that I subjectively react to this or that painting, no matter how famous the work may be…
this one, for example:
Reminds me so much of “The Addams Family’, no offence meant at all… But a family less cheerful, less prone to pranks.. Look at the hatred look of the characters… Never dare I hang that one on my house, really…. But still, I can’t help find it funny…. Notice the clowns, once again…Look at how the children seem sold, even older than the grown ups…
And last, but not least…
My favourite so far…so rich in details that I haven’t had the time yet to analyse everything…..Clowns, again, and a feeling of broken childhood...
Nightmares, anyone? ^^
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Writer's block
In a wild outburst of self-confidence and pride, I tend to believe that “those things only happen to the others”. That lack of unity in the writings. Too many ideas telescoping one after the other, but none being good enough, or built enough, to pretend to be a good idea. And certainly not a beginning to a story.
In something that I could call the paralysis of the mind, I tend to believe that my wild imagination would prevent me from falling into the abyss of the non-writing people. That little pen quality that makes me believe I have things to say, moreover, that I say them – if not better – at least well.
In a mind that I can call *almost* bilingual, I tend to believe that my hesitating in between French and English might be a cause of the disease. Time and again, I’ve been finding myself pondering days and days about how should the story be written. English for its dynamic, or French for its passion for the details. And granted, bilingual or not, I still am more qualified to express myself in my mother tongue. It just is, and not a hundred years of English speaking would change it.
Then, write about what? Internet, television, bokks and newspapers seem to have an answer, a model, a hint about whatever happen or exist under the sun…. Solution? Writing about non-existent things, create a new referent, that no one would sneake away from me.
Trouble is: my imagination is somewhat tainted by what I have been reading, thus accumulating, as mental images.
As the title says I feel blocked, my mind is blocked, my imagination is blocked, as for my pen, it lays idle on a pouch I haven’t opened in months. So here I am, using my blog as a crutch, but perfectly aware this is not the real thing. I wanna write with my blood and sweat, for Golly’s sake! I wanna unblock the feelings that seem tamed, too tamed, by some weird shame.
Ah… there we are//////////
Those things, I don’t want to see them back. I don’t want them to eat me again, to eat away the happiness I am enjoying now. Not of that rosy-cheesy happiness you can see in romantic movies, where everthing always ends well, like in the fairytales. My happiness is real, made of longing, desire, sadness and waiting. My happiness is made of two persons, and I am not always the winner. My happiness takes into account the happiness of the other person sharing my life.
And destroying everything for the sake of a writer’s pride (yes pride) is not the best idea I’d ever had in my life.
I remember I deleted my past blog. It contained too many many many wild emotions, too much of a past I don’t want to see again, even if I do not deny it. I am not what my emotions wants me to be. I am their master, somehow, and I say when and how I want them to show.
Even if I know that I am far too impulsive to control myself entirely.
There are so many events I want to write about. Maybe I will choose not to disclose them to anyone but me and my loved one. Maybe that way I won’t be under the pressure of “pleasing the audience”. As writers, we all crave for that acknowledgement, I know it. And do not tell me the contrary, I won’t believe you. It would be like “blogging for oneself only”, yet posting ones blog online and enable comments. I have 5 of them by the way. Only three are visible.
the fourth is for template test, and the last one isn’t accessible unless I give the link. There, I can write my heart unashamed. There I can be the real me. There I am writing under my Christian name, I am not Ichiban anymore. I let my red kimono and puppy ears to the cyberworld they belong to.
Don’t get me wrong. I never lie when I write around here. I simply present the facts so that they might be readable. I coat them with some literature artifacts. I transform my personal life into something worth reading. People are not interested in reading about others people’s life They are interested in how some people can transform their facts of life into something art-full.
I guess it is in that direction I have to go, if I ever want to get rid of that writer’s block. Letting my emotions go, but not as strong, so that they won’t destroy me, and with a little star quality, so that I could pretend to be read – unashamed--
In something that I could call the paralysis of the mind, I tend to believe that my wild imagination would prevent me from falling into the abyss of the non-writing people. That little pen quality that makes me believe I have things to say, moreover, that I say them – if not better – at least well.
In a mind that I can call *almost* bilingual, I tend to believe that my hesitating in between French and English might be a cause of the disease. Time and again, I’ve been finding myself pondering days and days about how should the story be written. English for its dynamic, or French for its passion for the details. And granted, bilingual or not, I still am more qualified to express myself in my mother tongue. It just is, and not a hundred years of English speaking would change it.
Then, write about what? Internet, television, bokks and newspapers seem to have an answer, a model, a hint about whatever happen or exist under the sun…. Solution? Writing about non-existent things, create a new referent, that no one would sneake away from me.
Trouble is: my imagination is somewhat tainted by what I have been reading, thus accumulating, as mental images.
As the title says I feel blocked, my mind is blocked, my imagination is blocked, as for my pen, it lays idle on a pouch I haven’t opened in months. So here I am, using my blog as a crutch, but perfectly aware this is not the real thing. I wanna write with my blood and sweat, for Golly’s sake! I wanna unblock the feelings that seem tamed, too tamed, by some weird shame.
Ah… there we are//////////
Those things, I don’t want to see them back. I don’t want them to eat me again, to eat away the happiness I am enjoying now. Not of that rosy-cheesy happiness you can see in romantic movies, where everthing always ends well, like in the fairytales. My happiness is real, made of longing, desire, sadness and waiting. My happiness is made of two persons, and I am not always the winner. My happiness takes into account the happiness of the other person sharing my life.
And destroying everything for the sake of a writer’s pride (yes pride) is not the best idea I’d ever had in my life.
I remember I deleted my past blog. It contained too many many many wild emotions, too much of a past I don’t want to see again, even if I do not deny it. I am not what my emotions wants me to be. I am their master, somehow, and I say when and how I want them to show.
Even if I know that I am far too impulsive to control myself entirely.
There are so many events I want to write about. Maybe I will choose not to disclose them to anyone but me and my loved one. Maybe that way I won’t be under the pressure of “pleasing the audience”. As writers, we all crave for that acknowledgement, I know it. And do not tell me the contrary, I won’t believe you. It would be like “blogging for oneself only”, yet posting ones blog online and enable comments. I have 5 of them by the way. Only three are visible.
the fourth is for template test, and the last one isn’t accessible unless I give the link. There, I can write my heart unashamed. There I can be the real me. There I am writing under my Christian name, I am not Ichiban anymore. I let my red kimono and puppy ears to the cyberworld they belong to.
Don’t get me wrong. I never lie when I write around here. I simply present the facts so that they might be readable. I coat them with some literature artifacts. I transform my personal life into something worth reading. People are not interested in reading about others people’s life They are interested in how some people can transform their facts of life into something art-full.
I guess it is in that direction I have to go, if I ever want to get rid of that writer’s block. Letting my emotions go, but not as strong, so that they won’t destroy me, and with a little star quality, so that I could pretend to be read – unashamed--
Friday, October 14, 2005
"Kailan"
If anyone has the translation to this song... please share !!
KAILAN
(cover by M.Y.M.P.)
(Words and Music by Ryan Cayabyab/
Published by FILSCAP)
Bakit kaya nangangamba
Sa tuwing ika’y nakikita
Sana nama’y magpakilala
Ilang ulit nang nagkabangga
Aklat kong dala’y pinulot mo pa
Di ka pa rin nagpakilala
Bakit kaya umiiwas
Binti ko ba’y mayro’ng gasgas
Nais ko nang magpakilala
Dito’y mayro’n sa puso ko
Munting puwang laan sa’yo
Maari na bang magpakilala
Bawat araw sinusundan
Di ka naman tumitingin
Ano’ng aking dapat gawin
Kailan, kailan mo ba mapapansin
Ang aking lihim
Kahit anong aking gawin
Di mo pinapansin
Kailan, kailan hahaplusin
Ang pusong bitin na bitin
Kahit anong gawing lambing
Di mo pa rin pansin
Dito’y mayro’n sa puso ko
Munting puwang laan sa’yo
Maari na bang magpakilala
Bawat araw sinusundan
Di ka naman tumitingin
Ano’ng aking dapat gawin
Kailan, kailan mo ba mapapansin
Ang aking lihim
Kahit anong aking gawin
Di mo pinapansin
Kailan, kailan hahaplusin
Ang pusong bitn na bitin
Kahit anong gawing lambing
Di mo pa rin pansin
Kahit ano’ng aking gawin
Di mo pinapansin…
Thursday, October 13, 2005
"and sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on"
sefl depreciation of the mind, a feeling that doesn't want to leave me, i feel liek being liek the culprit of a fault i don't understand, why oh why do i take everything so personally, people are not foes or freidns simply passer-by's in my own life, i wanna get outta here, jsut for a day, erase everything i thought everything i said, everything i will think, all i need is rest, i am stressed, too stressed, taking too much upon my shoulders, when i am weak and sick, my mind is in a hazy conditions, i have this headache that won't go away even music cannot soothe me, all i want now is to break down and cry, cry, cry, cry, i wanna get back to the little irresponsible girl screaming inside, no assistant, no mod, no nothing, no errands to do , no meal to prepare, just sleep away my fatigue and forget about hte whole world'res misery. I do not beg for help, my pride is still too important , and when i feel in such a self destructive mood, the only way out would be dancing it away, or having mind blowing sex, anything to transform that ball of energy inside into something creative, rather than destructive. I would like to tell my brain to stop worrying, ok i may lose my job, but that's happens everyday ne, i wanna tale my mouth to stop being so polite, to answer phone calls in such a cheerful voice that everybody envy me, i woudl liek to say that i am not perfect, not me, certainly not me, tht i have dark spots lying underneath, tamed animals, that sometimes happen to break their chains and run wild without my being able to control them i am so afraid they migth hurt someone around i just pary and hope everything will be allright, and also, most of it i do not want to lose my grandma, not yet, not that way, and as i struggle against tears, as i loathe myself for being so weak, so useless, i just hope that in an hour, when i read all this back, i will laugh it all and consider it was but a dream. A bad one.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Title-less
too many events in too little time...
I don't have the distance enough to talk about them...
One of them is too close, too personal, and I still don't want to accept to consequences of it. One of them is not touching a member of my family, and I am in total denial.
As I might have said once, I am afraid of death. Not of death as everyone's last journey, but as the physical avatar of a human body. It hurts too much seeing the people you love the most, diminished by the illness, and finally becoming the shadow of the person that accompanied my childhood.
I try to tell myself that I am acting like a coward, non being able to face the truth. I remember I categorically refused to approach the coffin of my late grandpa. I was afraid of the dead corpse inside, to me, it was not my grandpa again, my grandpa was freed form any suffering now, somewhere in a place I am not allowed to... I now keep his picture close. I see him smiling, that particular sparkle in his eyes that made us have an understanding that few could sense.
And I now watch th other part of my only grand family left fading away into the mists of her own brain. The disease eating away the near memory, leaving her in a world of long time souvenirs, a world where I do not exist anymore. And it hurt so much to realize that, one day, she mightn't recognize me at all anymore.
And I pray.
Compared to that, the material problems I am encountering now seem so little...
I don't have the distance enough to talk about them...
One of them is too close, too personal, and I still don't want to accept to consequences of it. One of them is not touching a member of my family, and I am in total denial.
As I might have said once, I am afraid of death. Not of death as everyone's last journey, but as the physical avatar of a human body. It hurts too much seeing the people you love the most, diminished by the illness, and finally becoming the shadow of the person that accompanied my childhood.
I try to tell myself that I am acting like a coward, non being able to face the truth. I remember I categorically refused to approach the coffin of my late grandpa. I was afraid of the dead corpse inside, to me, it was not my grandpa again, my grandpa was freed form any suffering now, somewhere in a place I am not allowed to... I now keep his picture close. I see him smiling, that particular sparkle in his eyes that made us have an understanding that few could sense.
And I now watch th other part of my only grand family left fading away into the mists of her own brain. The disease eating away the near memory, leaving her in a world of long time souvenirs, a world where I do not exist anymore. And it hurt so much to realize that, one day, she mightn't recognize me at all anymore.
And I pray.
Compared to that, the material problems I am encountering now seem so little...
Monday, October 03, 2005
Behold !!!
Everyone pay attention, for it's gonna be the first time and last time that I post a pic of my mug around here...
It's huge, it's me, and it's not photoshopped XD.
***
aside from this, and since I dont feel like talking much, I invite you to pay a visit to Kusu-kun's new webpage I leave you figure out who this Kusu is, btw...
by K-kun
And for the nostalgics of "Con$umer Duck" like me, just follow the link!
Sh!t up and listen: http://seedelite.com/
It's huge, it's me, and it's not photoshopped XD.
aside from this, and since I dont feel like talking much, I invite you to pay a visit to Kusu-kun's new webpage I leave you figure out who this Kusu is, btw...
by K-kun
And for the nostalgics of "Con$umer Duck" like me, just follow the link!
Sh!t up and listen: http://seedelite.com/
Friday, September 30, 2005
"Got it"?
Some people make me gently laugh....
the kind of people pretending they know a lot about the world, pretending to understand the whereabouts of the society we live in... but never give a damn about the others, or never listen to what others have to say... Their world is filled with their Ego only, or such is the impression they give. It is a "them against the world" game, it is a self-centered dialogue, where everyone but them is excluded.
So they wrap themselves into a puppet game, loudly crying out that no one ever understand, that they are the victims of a system that is evil -oh so evil-... while trying to manipulate the facts to their own benefits, shamelessly using the same process they claim they are the victims of...
How great a temptation it is, and use the same process... It is so easy, and for a person who master languages trick and nuances, the game my have a really thrilling flavour...
I must admit, in all honesty, that I ,too, judge sometimes too fast, or make cliché thougths as mine. Experience proved me wrong, and, contrary to what a many might think, it is not always my eldest who had me realize about my mistakes. I would even say that, being in permanent contact with people younger than I, I tend to try and be more open-minded, less adult than I really am.
Adults always tend to patronize around, making a point of honour to teach the others by their own experience. Of course, even though they often proved right (for experience, as a whole, is something you cannot fight against), it is not a reason to treat younger opinions as nonsense.
Well, there are exceptions, sometimes.
When faced to such stubornness, altering of the sayings, sneaky behaviour, misplaced pride and drama-like attitude... I think the best response ever is silence.(thi is , after having cooled down enough to think logically ^^. Silence, after yet another countless warning...
And the let the things sort out by themselves... Because in the end, the only persons that can be fooled by such a game....are the ones who started it in the beginning...
"Got it"?
^^
the kind of people pretending they know a lot about the world, pretending to understand the whereabouts of the society we live in... but never give a damn about the others, or never listen to what others have to say... Their world is filled with their Ego only, or such is the impression they give. It is a "them against the world" game, it is a self-centered dialogue, where everyone but them is excluded.
So they wrap themselves into a puppet game, loudly crying out that no one ever understand, that they are the victims of a system that is evil -oh so evil-... while trying to manipulate the facts to their own benefits, shamelessly using the same process they claim they are the victims of...
How great a temptation it is, and use the same process... It is so easy, and for a person who master languages trick and nuances, the game my have a really thrilling flavour...
I must admit, in all honesty, that I ,too, judge sometimes too fast, or make cliché thougths as mine. Experience proved me wrong, and, contrary to what a many might think, it is not always my eldest who had me realize about my mistakes. I would even say that, being in permanent contact with people younger than I, I tend to try and be more open-minded, less adult than I really am.
Adults always tend to patronize around, making a point of honour to teach the others by their own experience. Of course, even though they often proved right (for experience, as a whole, is something you cannot fight against), it is not a reason to treat younger opinions as nonsense.
Well, there are exceptions, sometimes.
When faced to such stubornness, altering of the sayings, sneaky behaviour, misplaced pride and drama-like attitude... I think the best response ever is silence.(thi is , after having cooled down enough to think logically ^^. Silence, after yet another countless warning...
And the let the things sort out by themselves... Because in the end, the only persons that can be fooled by such a game....are the ones who started it in the beginning...
"Got it"?
^^
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Thank you...
For entering my life, unexpected...thank you
For the love that you give, without restrain...thank you
For being around, even far away, and support me in the bad days...thank you
For being you, simply.... thank you
For the smiles that you give, always, and for caring about me, always....thank you
For being strong, making myself stronger....thank you
For trusting me, ever since the beginning...thank you
For taking me as I am, with flaws and freckles...thank you
for al the small things that make me melt for you, and that I won't post here ^^...thank you...
All of those priceless memories...
Happy anniversary, mon amour !!!!!!!!
For the love that you give, without restrain...thank you
For being around, even far away, and support me in the bad days...thank you
For being you, simply.... thank you
For the smiles that you give, always, and for caring about me, always....thank you
For being strong, making myself stronger....thank you
For trusting me, ever since the beginning...thank you
For taking me as I am, with flaws and freckles...thank you
for al the small things that make me melt for you, and that I won't post here ^^...thank you...
All of those priceless memories...
Happy anniversary, mon amour !!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I was AWOL....
*bear hugs* to everyone who commented/read the previous entry. You guys are peaches!!! ^*^
Ah... I don't feel like writing those days... Maybe is it because of the autumn, but I feel more like cudling like a big fluffy cat near a big fire, open a book and forget about the whole world and its damned crazed things.
Pure fantasy of course, but pic above, plus cosy hearth, minus ugly white lamps....= yummy cosy good ole library....
Late Sunday night, strangers (or so we think) allegedly broke in the hall of our apartment building, stole all the keys (the ones leading to the cellars etc) and broke to video camera installed in the entrance hall. Nothing is more stressing that feeling insecure within your own walls...
Anyway...been browsong amazon to make a whishlist, thinking about how many thing I desire and that aren't available on a list...
Ah... I don't feel like writing those days... Maybe is it because of the autumn, but I feel more like cudling like a big fluffy cat near a big fire, open a book and forget about the whole world and its damned crazed things.
Pure fantasy of course, but pic above, plus cosy hearth, minus ugly white lamps....= yummy cosy good ole library....
Late Sunday night, strangers (or so we think) allegedly broke in the hall of our apartment building, stole all the keys (the ones leading to the cellars etc) and broke to video camera installed in the entrance hall. Nothing is more stressing that feeling insecure within your own walls...
Anyway...been browsong amazon to make a whishlist, thinking about how many thing I desire and that aren't available on a list...
Monday, September 19, 2005
Farewell message
To the Do As Infinity members team:
“So far away…just far away…”
It’s been about two years and a good half that I’ve been knowing Do As Infinity… It’s been such a long time already, and I still can remember it as it was yesterday…
I won’t tell you that I am sad to see the end of your journey all together. Because, somehow, it wouldn’t be all true. I have so many so many so many good memories about yout that it wouldn’t be fair to put the blame upon you…
Sometimes, when ask what “Do As Infinity” means, I often answer “a life change”. The emotion when I discovered the two songs that stay my favorites ever: “Fukai mori” and “Shinjitsu no uta”. The exploding of my bubble of solitude two years ago, when I registered to the Daiforum. My life getting better as your music get me to know people sharing the same passion about Japan and Asia, new friends… and in the end, a new love.
Your music brought us together.
And if I had to meet you one day, if I had to tell you just one thing, it would be the following: “your music brought us together". Me and my love, me and all the people around here.
We’ve been through thick and thin. Greetings new friends, seeing old ones departing, sometimes in a painful way. Sticking all together when technology decided to play a nasty trick on our communities, in those very days of your separation, when we needed to talk the most…
I do hope that one of you will read this, along with the messages of my fellows daifriends. I do hope you will realize how important you have grown to each of us, to me….How that forum dedicated to your band became like a second family to a many of us…
I do hope that, whatever path is now in front of each of you, you will follow it at your best. That’s the image your band gave us, all those years.
As I mourn the passed Do As Infinity days, still hesitating between joy and sadness, I thank you a last time.
See you soon, maybe.
Stay in my heart, always.
From:
Ichiban
--Moderator of Daiforum--
“So far away…just far away…”
It’s been about two years and a good half that I’ve been knowing Do As Infinity… It’s been such a long time already, and I still can remember it as it was yesterday…
I won’t tell you that I am sad to see the end of your journey all together. Because, somehow, it wouldn’t be all true. I have so many so many so many good memories about yout that it wouldn’t be fair to put the blame upon you…
Sometimes, when ask what “Do As Infinity” means, I often answer “a life change”. The emotion when I discovered the two songs that stay my favorites ever: “Fukai mori” and “Shinjitsu no uta”. The exploding of my bubble of solitude two years ago, when I registered to the Daiforum. My life getting better as your music get me to know people sharing the same passion about Japan and Asia, new friends… and in the end, a new love.
Your music brought us together.
And if I had to meet you one day, if I had to tell you just one thing, it would be the following: “your music brought us together". Me and my love, me and all the people around here.
We’ve been through thick and thin. Greetings new friends, seeing old ones departing, sometimes in a painful way. Sticking all together when technology decided to play a nasty trick on our communities, in those very days of your separation, when we needed to talk the most…
I do hope that one of you will read this, along with the messages of my fellows daifriends. I do hope you will realize how important you have grown to each of us, to me….How that forum dedicated to your band became like a second family to a many of us…
I do hope that, whatever path is now in front of each of you, you will follow it at your best. That’s the image your band gave us, all those years.
As I mourn the passed Do As Infinity days, still hesitating between joy and sadness, I thank you a last time.
See you soon, maybe.
Stay in my heart, always.
From:
Ichiban
--Moderator of Daiforum--
about broken things and aliveness...
Good news is: forum is back.
Bad news is: Do As Infinity is actually splitting. I feel too weird still to write about how I feel about this. I do not want to let angry feelings and resentment take over the two years and a half of bliss.
LAst night on the train, I was forced to plug my mp3 player in... For people listening rap ,and singing on it... either need to be shut up by meain of chainsaw...since i have but a blayer at hand, I chosen the protection option.... But... There were only do as songs... and i listened to them first time after knowing about their splitting over.
It was not a funny experience. Each words sounded in my ears liek they had never did. Music felt more powerful, maybe more present that it has ever been. Ofytentime i seen my reflexion on the verge of tears. Tears of anger at myself, how dare I be so affected. Tears of sadness, no, more of nostalgia.
And, as I used to, back in those days of loneliness... iages of some fanfiction, about some puppy-eared moderator, and her reaction towards dai splitting up. Visions of shattered glass, darkness, closed doors and tears unsaid. A "yotaka no yume" song, calling yet another catastrophe. No more DAI, and the near lost of all our friends. Technology has a wicked sense of humour , sometimes.
Facts only, Ichiban, facts only. Moreover, life goes on, with its daily struggles.... And my being worried about some important events, important to my loved one, important to his future... All my thoughts goes to him right now.
so far I leave my sadness deep inside a corner a my heart. And when time come, I will write it out. Like a bad deam that'd need exorcism.
Bad news is: Do As Infinity is actually splitting. I feel too weird still to write about how I feel about this. I do not want to let angry feelings and resentment take over the two years and a half of bliss.
LAst night on the train, I was forced to plug my mp3 player in... For people listening rap ,and singing on it... either need to be shut up by meain of chainsaw...since i have but a blayer at hand, I chosen the protection option.... But... There were only do as songs... and i listened to them first time after knowing about their splitting over.
It was not a funny experience. Each words sounded in my ears liek they had never did. Music felt more powerful, maybe more present that it has ever been. Ofytentime i seen my reflexion on the verge of tears. Tears of anger at myself, how dare I be so affected. Tears of sadness, no, more of nostalgia.
And, as I used to, back in those days of loneliness... iages of some fanfiction, about some puppy-eared moderator, and her reaction towards dai splitting up. Visions of shattered glass, darkness, closed doors and tears unsaid. A "yotaka no yume" song, calling yet another catastrophe. No more DAI, and the near lost of all our friends. Technology has a wicked sense of humour , sometimes.
Facts only, Ichiban, facts only. Moreover, life goes on, with its daily struggles.... And my being worried about some important events, important to my loved one, important to his future... All my thoughts goes to him right now.
so far I leave my sadness deep inside a corner a my heart. And when time come, I will write it out. Like a bad deam that'd need exorcism.
Friday, September 16, 2005
DAIFORUM --2 days later --
The forum is still down, but thanks to Heartless Cloud (thank youfor the link, Mroneder ^^ )here is some temporary forum
DAIFORUM -- 2days later --
Please, if you can share the word, do it !!!!! :bigthumb:
(I am waiting for MAv's news about what happened....)
DAIFORUM -- 2days later --
Please, if you can share the word, do it !!!!! :bigthumb:
(I am waiting for MAv's news about what happened....)
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
DAI is splitting...
..or so goes the rumour...
Again, and again, and generally before any "Anniversary Release", the Do As official website swirls under devastated fans comments about some splitting over. It's been two years or so that I am a fan , and it's been two years or so that September proves to be a crisis month in the life of us Do As addicted.
Not to sound offending but... If this is a trick made up by Avex, or by the band marketing guru to have people freaking out and get onto some frenzy buying, good job, guys ! If this is a trick to strenghen the fan base, and get some live performance full of people boosted by the "Last time we gonna see DAI" energy, that's the thing to do ! And please do not forget to charge a maximum in the ticket selling, poor Avex would be so happy.....Your are not better than any marketing team ! Thank you for taking advantage of people, generally young, and have them jeopardize their dreams. Or for some of them, to shatter the only thing they have left.(For, no, the life of a teenager is not always simple. There are serious, unsaid hurtings that you grown-up, (and that I sometimes tend to forget) cannot understand) It is a positive message, a willto face every troubles witha brave smile on. It talks about values, about fun, about sadness in true words. Do As talks the talk that those young poeple maybe haven't found amongst the grown-up people around them.
I want to believe that none of the band member is at the origins of such rumours, I mean, not in a marketing aim.
However... If it is really the will of the members... If Banchan is really gonna begin a solo project, if Ryo-san is really gonna continue his Missile innovation adventure, and if DAI-sama is really gonna stay in the shadows forever...Well so be it.
those persons, and what they brought to me by their music is so huge, so meaningful, so important that I cannot honestly blame it upon them. But sincerely wishing them farewell, and see you soon, maybe, under other projects, under new beginnings.
Face it or not, a bands life in time is always limited.
Does it mean that the dream is over? Certainly not.
Of course I would be sad not getting any more CDs, any more PV's any more infos.. But geez, Do As Infinity, it's more than merchandising stuffs !!! It's about a happy celebration of life! And somehow I'd like better no Do As anymore, than bad Do As, I mean, a band without the sparkle of difference that got me into them, more than to any other bands, any other music.
It is, on a side way, a terrific forum adventure, with people I am glad to have met !! Would the end of a band means the end of the ties? Would the end of the band mean the end of the boards. Sadly enough, I have no power whatsoever to make things going my way. If it was to me to decide, I would let it open. There will still be peopel new to the DAI music, there would be still a place for a Ryo-san section, a Banchan, a Dai-sama one. But it's not my forum, after all. IT's won't be mine to decide.
I am sad because of those rumours, well, mor esad to see how it affected some of the poeple I know. IT is never a good news to see people you appreciate hurting, even if the news doesn't affect you the same. And the worst of that, it's that there are no words, no comfort thing that can be said or done. Just waiting for the rumour to be confirmed or denied. And trying to cheer everyone up, at the best I can do. Only the certitude that music lives forever in our hearts. Might sound cliche, but if one of you got a better way to say it, please do.
It is maybe the biggest crisis of the band existence. It is maybe the biggest scam Avex have ever done. And on that case, don't count on me to support Avex any more (aka buy their stuff).
And it is maybe the first time that no words , no posts, no smileys can get the sadness of some Do As fans away... And on that.. I have no solution...
:::edit:::
on http://www.d-a-i.com/index.html :
1999年9月29日にデビューして6年の時間が経ちました。
沢山のご声援をいただいて順調に音楽活動を続けることが出来ました。
ありがとうございます。本当に感謝の気持ちを言葉にすることは難しいとも思います。
そして今年の9月29日を持ちまして、またDo As Infinityは新たな節目を迎えることとなります。
Do Ａs Infinityはそれぞれの道を歩むこととなりました。
伴都美子はソロアーティスト。
大渡 亮は「ミサイルイノベーション」などのバンド活動。
長尾 大は「Amasia Landscape」などのプロデュース活動、作家活動。
これは3人がアーティスト、音楽家として次のステップを目指した結果の、
ごく自然な流れであると思います。
6年間の充実した日々を通じて得たそれぞれの宝物を
次の音楽活動に生かしていきたいと思っています。
Do Ａs Infinityは解散いたします。
長い間応援しつづけてくださった皆様、本当にありがとうございました。
伴 都美子、大渡 亮、長尾 大の今後の活躍にご期待ください。
Do As Infinity：TOMIKO VAN , RYO OWATARI , DAI NAGAO & ALL SUPPORTERS.
■Do As Infinity ライブ告知
ラストライブ決定！
2005年11月25日（金） 日本武道館
本当に皆様ありがとうございました。
武道館でお待ちしております。ぜひお越し下さい。
※詳細は決定次第、http://www.d-a-i.comにて発表いたします。
メンバー3人からのコメントも後日、発表予定です。
｜ウィンドウを閉じる｜
Translation:
Again, and again, and generally before any "Anniversary Release", the Do As official website swirls under devastated fans comments about some splitting over. It's been two years or so that I am a fan , and it's been two years or so that September proves to be a crisis month in the life of us Do As addicted.
Not to sound offending but... If this is a trick made up by Avex, or by the band marketing guru to have people freaking out and get onto some frenzy buying, good job, guys ! If this is a trick to strenghen the fan base, and get some live performance full of people boosted by the "Last time we gonna see DAI" energy, that's the thing to do ! And please do not forget to charge a maximum in the ticket selling, poor Avex would be so happy.....Your are not better than any marketing team ! Thank you for taking advantage of people, generally young, and have them jeopardize their dreams. Or for some of them, to shatter the only thing they have left.(For, no, the life of a teenager is not always simple. There are serious, unsaid hurtings that you grown-up, (and that I sometimes tend to forget) cannot understand) It is a positive message, a willto face every troubles witha brave smile on. It talks about values, about fun, about sadness in true words. Do As talks the talk that those young poeple maybe haven't found amongst the grown-up people around them.
I want to believe that none of the band member is at the origins of such rumours, I mean, not in a marketing aim.
However... If it is really the will of the members... If Banchan is really gonna begin a solo project, if Ryo-san is really gonna continue his Missile innovation adventure, and if DAI-sama is really gonna stay in the shadows forever...Well so be it.
those persons, and what they brought to me by their music is so huge, so meaningful, so important that I cannot honestly blame it upon them. But sincerely wishing them farewell, and see you soon, maybe, under other projects, under new beginnings.
Face it or not, a bands life in time is always limited.
Does it mean that the dream is over? Certainly not.
Of course I would be sad not getting any more CDs, any more PV's any more infos.. But geez, Do As Infinity, it's more than merchandising stuffs !!! It's about a happy celebration of life! And somehow I'd like better no Do As anymore, than bad Do As, I mean, a band without the sparkle of difference that got me into them, more than to any other bands, any other music.
It is, on a side way, a terrific forum adventure, with people I am glad to have met !! Would the end of a band means the end of the ties? Would the end of the band mean the end of the boards. Sadly enough, I have no power whatsoever to make things going my way. If it was to me to decide, I would let it open. There will still be peopel new to the DAI music, there would be still a place for a Ryo-san section, a Banchan, a Dai-sama one. But it's not my forum, after all. IT's won't be mine to decide.
I am sad because of those rumours, well, mor esad to see how it affected some of the poeple I know. IT is never a good news to see people you appreciate hurting, even if the news doesn't affect you the same. And the worst of that, it's that there are no words, no comfort thing that can be said or done. Just waiting for the rumour to be confirmed or denied. And trying to cheer everyone up, at the best I can do. Only the certitude that music lives forever in our hearts. Might sound cliche, but if one of you got a better way to say it, please do.
It is maybe the biggest crisis of the band existence. It is maybe the biggest scam Avex have ever done. And on that case, don't count on me to support Avex any more (aka buy their stuff).
And it is maybe the first time that no words , no posts, no smileys can get the sadness of some Do As fans away... And on that.. I have no solution...
:::edit:::
on http://www.d-a-i.com/index.html :
1999年9月29日にデビューして6年の時間が経ちました。
沢山のご声援をいただいて順調に音楽活動を続けることが出来ました。
ありがとうございます。本当に感謝の気持ちを言葉にすることは難しいとも思います。
そして今年の9月29日を持ちまして、またDo As Infinityは新たな節目を迎えることとなります。
Do Ａs Infinityはそれぞれの道を歩むこととなりました。
伴都美子はソロアーティスト。
大渡 亮は「ミサイルイノベーション」などのバンド活動。
長尾 大は「Amasia Landscape」などのプロデュース活動、作家活動。
これは3人がアーティスト、音楽家として次のステップを目指した結果の、
ごく自然な流れであると思います。
6年間の充実した日々を通じて得たそれぞれの宝物を
次の音楽活動に生かしていきたいと思っています。
Do Ａs Infinityは解散いたします。
長い間応援しつづけてくださった皆様、本当にありがとうございました。
伴 都美子、大渡 亮、長尾 大の今後の活躍にご期待ください。
Do As Infinity：TOMIKO VAN , RYO OWATARI , DAI NAGAO & ALL SUPPORTERS.
■Do As Infinity ライブ告知
ラストライブ決定！
2005年11月25日（金） 日本武道館
本当に皆様ありがとうございました。
武道館でお待ちしております。ぜひお越し下さい。
※詳細は決定次第、http://www.d-a-i.comにて発表いたします。
メンバー3人からのコメントも後日、発表予定です。
｜ウィンドウを閉じる｜
Translation:
"It debuted on September 29, 1999 and the time of six years passed.
Music was able to keep acting well by getting a lot of rootings.
Thank you. I think making the gratitude really a word to be difficult.
And, it has September 29 this year and Do As Infinity comes to face a new turning point.
Do As Infinity came to walk on each road.
Tomonat Yoshiko is a solo artist.
Large Wataryou is a band activity such as "Missile innovation".
Nagaodai is a produce activity, and a writer activity such as "Amasia
Landscape".
I think that this is a very natural result flow that three people
aimed at the next step as an artist and a musician.
I want to do to the following music activity through enhanced every
day of six years each obtained treasure whether it is a life.
Do As Infinity will dissolve.
Thank you really for everybody who kept assisting for a long time.
Please expect it of the activity in the future as big as Tomonat Yoshiko, large
Wataryou, and Nagao.
Do As Infinity:TOMIKO VAN , RYO OWATARI , DAI NAGAO & ALL SUPPORTERS.
- Do As Infinity live notification
Last live decision.
Friday, November 25, 2005 Nippon Budoukan
Thank you really for everybody.
We will wait in Nippon Budoukan. Please come by all means.
- I will announce details with http://www.d-a-i.com as soon as it decides it.
The comment of three members is announcement schedules later.
|The window is shut. |"
Monday, September 12, 2005
Childhood Toys
Feeling a bit nostalgic those days, I been thinking about the games that accompanied my childhood... In a time when computer games where outta my reach (and where a Packman cartridge practically ruined our TV...)
I was wondering if you, too, had some good memories about games, be it cards, toys, puzzles, dolls.....
Here are a few yours truely was used to play with.... And still posses in her attic ^^
*) The good ole Rubik's cube (at the time, no internet to give you the solution, hehe.......)
*) I also used to *love* all "My Little Poney" toys. Good ole days where poneys resembled poneys, and where material was thick plastic....
*) I never been a fan of dolls (all those baby-like items bored me to no end.....) but on the contrary, I had a pretty good collection of "Matchbox" toy cars
*) aside from a "hoola-hoop" i never managed to spin around my waist , I used to play with that, too ^^ (yuo know, like what Rocky does while exercising XD) "leap rope", or whatever you call that in english ^^
*) cards and family games too.... Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, or this funny one... "le jeu de l'oie"
*) and more that I forgot.... ^^
I was wondering if you, too, had some good memories about games, be it cards, toys, puzzles, dolls.....
Here are a few yours truely was used to play with.... And still posses in her attic ^^
*) The good ole Rubik's cube (at the time, no internet to give you the solution, hehe.......)
*) I also used to *love* all "My Little Poney" toys. Good ole days where poneys resembled poneys, and where material was thick plastic....
*) I never been a fan of dolls (all those baby-like items bored me to no end.....) but on the contrary, I had a pretty good collection of "Matchbox" toy cars
*) aside from a "hoola-hoop" i never managed to spin around my waist , I used to play with that, too ^^ (yuo know, like what Rocky does while exercising XD) "leap rope", or whatever you call that in english ^^
*) cards and family games too.... Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, or this funny one... "le jeu de l'oie"
*) and more that I forgot.... ^^
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Standing aside of them all.
My dad's cousin has come to visit us, along with her wife.
As both him and my dad are talking of the past, war events, sad events, harsh events I only knows about by overhearing some unsaid conversations.... I feel like hiding here in my room, alone, fearing to learn what I shouldn't know....
Past events of people unknown to me always frightens me... I remember one day, my grand'ma told me about her story, about how she survived war... Dark imagines I wish I coud have flied away, expell form my memory... As she was telling me, tears in her eyes, how nasty the Nazis were, I was silently begging her to stop...
I simply cannot stand seeing my beloved ones suffering that much... I am coming from a tiny family, but were links and personalities are so strong that nothing is ever simple... Maybe I am bearing that complexity inside, as if I was the mirror of all those people that made my being on earth possible...
I wish I could know their story, but at the same time I am afraid of what I might discover...
Having a dad who lived in a uber rich house, being driven at school by his own butler, in a big expensive car (back in the 40's) then seeing his dad loosing it all, betrayed by his own kin, then passing away unhelp, alone, in poverty...my dad only remaining close to him...
I couldn't stand seeing my dad suffering again... I simply cannot...
Please forgive me, my dear family.... Please forgive me of not being able to say aloud how I am glad to know that you exist, how I love you without knowing you, and how I regret not being able to voice out all those feelings...
Or simply holding you in my arms...
As both him and my dad are talking of the past, war events, sad events, harsh events I only knows about by overhearing some unsaid conversations.... I feel like hiding here in my room, alone, fearing to learn what I shouldn't know....
Past events of people unknown to me always frightens me... I remember one day, my grand'ma told me about her story, about how she survived war... Dark imagines I wish I coud have flied away, expell form my memory... As she was telling me, tears in her eyes, how nasty the Nazis were, I was silently begging her to stop...
I simply cannot stand seeing my beloved ones suffering that much... I am coming from a tiny family, but were links and personalities are so strong that nothing is ever simple... Maybe I am bearing that complexity inside, as if I was the mirror of all those people that made my being on earth possible...
I wish I could know their story, but at the same time I am afraid of what I might discover...
Having a dad who lived in a uber rich house, being driven at school by his own butler, in a big expensive car (back in the 40's) then seeing his dad loosing it all, betrayed by his own kin, then passing away unhelp, alone, in poverty...my dad only remaining close to him...
I couldn't stand seeing my dad suffering again... I simply cannot...
Please forgive me, my dear family.... Please forgive me of not being able to say aloud how I am glad to know that you exist, how I love you without knowing you, and how I regret not being able to voice out all those feelings...
Or simply holding you in my arms...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Because this artist is awesome...
RAISTLIN's FAN ART
credits to Tang Sin Yun !!!
ain't that cool? ^___________________________^
*is fan of Raistlin* ^*^
::::EDIT::::
to add on my book wishlist...
-The Legend of Huma
-Kendermore
-Brothers Majere
-Dark Heart
-Flint, the king
-The soulforge
-Brothers in arms
-Dalamar the dark
-Dragons of a fallen sun
-Dragons of a lost star
-Dragons of a vanished moon
-Tanis, the shadow years
credits to Tang Sin Yun !!!
ain't that cool? ^___________________________^
*is fan of Raistlin* ^*^
::::EDIT::::
to add on my book wishlist...
-The Legend of Huma
-Kendermore
-Brothers Majere
-Dark Heart
-Flint, the king
-The soulforge
-Brothers in arms
-Dalamar the dark
-Dragons of a fallen sun
-Dragons of a lost star
-Dragons of a vanished moon
-Tanis, the shadow years
Stop making "what do to" lists, since anyway you never have the time to do all what's on those lists. Maybe limit yourself to some post-its around.
My, My, there is indeed a size limit to the title form....
If any genius of the HTML, XHTML , whatever read this... how to change the code so that the "0 comments/1 comments" line becomes some "ichiban is waitng to be fed/ichiban have eaten x times"
Granted, this is just an example.
Hehe...........
If any genius of the HTML, XHTML , whatever read this... how to change the code so that the "0 comments/1 comments" line becomes some "ichiban is waitng to be fed/ichiban have eaten x times"
Granted, this is just an example.
Hehe...........
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
To all the *bad* drivers
WTF is wrong with you?
Does your SUV or big Alfa Romeo allows you not to respect the rules?
For, as a pedestrian, I need to rely only to what is given (I dare say tolerated) to me, this being Pedestrian crossing, and the hope that you drivers will respect MY priority as I respect YOURS.
But when a fcuking b@st!rd, as the ones that I crossed today, who nearly hit me this morning, or nearly got me into some accident this noon, simply laughes it all and disregards my rights (aka being able tu USE the pedestrian crossing, granted that NO STUPID MORON (yeah, that's a pleonasm) parked his car on it), well other than giving him the good ole middle finger, I only have to wish that he and his wonderful car will meet a tree soon.
And preferably a big one.
I am sick of shutting the fcuk up when faced to such sickening people. And since the police (certainly NOT the police) won't do anything to it, what's left to me is risking my life about 14 times (yes 14 times ) a DAY, hoping I won't get in the way of such a egoist of the road as you, *bad* drivers.
I wish that one day you will be in my place, and got nearly hit by one of those big pricey cars you seem to like so much.
I wish taht one day someone less patient and less educated than I will explain to you why you are such a bother.
I wish that one day you will total your oh so precious car, since to you it is even more worthy than a human life.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Easy Ramen ^^
made some "HOME-MADE" RAMEN last night !! (understand, dried noodles pack + what was on the fridge lols)
You need:
- 1 pack of dried noodles "ramen" (there are different flavour, choose one that goes on well with meat)
- 200g Pork meat (thin slices) (you can use beef too : even more tastier ^^ )
- 4 big dried mushrooms
- preserved ginger (the one you use with sushi, dun remember the English name)
- salt, pepper
- a spoon of oil (i had only Sesame oil left)
- a spoon of soja sauce
- a spoon of Mirin
- a few leaves of fresh Coriander
The cooking:
1. Slice the pork in thin slices, about 1 cm . HAve a pan heating with a spoon of oil , and heat it to the max. Then carefully drop the meat, let it grill a bit. Reduce the heat when the meat becomes grilled, then add salt, pepper, soja sauce and mirin. Let it gently cook, until the sauce becomes a bit sticky.
2. Meanwhile let the mushroom dip in hot water. Then, cut them in thin slices, about half a centimeter.
3. Then, cut your ginger in thin slices too, as well as some Coriander leaves. Preserve for later. (but add a few crushed leaves in the pork meat, mix gently, and put out of heat)
4. When all of your ingredients are done, deal with the noodles. Easy, just follow the instruction on the packed XD.(dun put too much water, you'll see why..)
5. When the noodles are cooked, dip in a big bowl. Then gently add the pork slices, mushrooms slices, and finally ginger. (make it so that it doesn't sink in the noodles ---> careful with water !!)spread the remnants of your crushed coriander leaves, and add a few coriander leaves, for decorating it all...
6. Enjoy !!!!
(dunno if this is close to real ramen, but it is yummy hehehe
)
You need:
- 1 pack of dried noodles "ramen" (there are different flavour, choose one that goes on well with meat)
- 200g Pork meat (thin slices) (you can use beef too : even more tastier ^^ )
- 4 big dried mushrooms
- preserved ginger (the one you use with sushi, dun remember the English name)
- salt, pepper
- a spoon of oil (i had only Sesame oil left)
- a spoon of soja sauce
- a spoon of Mirin
- a few leaves of fresh Coriander
The cooking:
1. Slice the pork in thin slices, about 1 cm . HAve a pan heating with a spoon of oil , and heat it to the max. Then carefully drop the meat, let it grill a bit. Reduce the heat when the meat becomes grilled, then add salt, pepper, soja sauce and mirin. Let it gently cook, until the sauce becomes a bit sticky.
2. Meanwhile let the mushroom dip in hot water. Then, cut them in thin slices, about half a centimeter.
3. Then, cut your ginger in thin slices too, as well as some Coriander leaves. Preserve for later. (but add a few crushed leaves in the pork meat, mix gently, and put out of heat)
4. When all of your ingredients are done, deal with the noodles. Easy, just follow the instruction on the packed XD.(dun put too much water, you'll see why..)
5. When the noodles are cooked, dip in a big bowl. Then gently add the pork slices, mushrooms slices, and finally ginger. (make it so that it doesn't sink in the noodles ---> careful with water !!)spread the remnants of your crushed coriander leaves, and add a few coriander leaves, for decorating it all...
6. Enjoy !!!!
(dunno if this is close to real ramen, but it is yummy hehehe
)
Monday, September 05, 2005
Monday, Crappy Monday....
Feels like I am in the middle of a maelstrom, the more I struggle to get out of it, the more i go deeper and deeper... Staying cool no matter what, I'll find a way out anyway...
Woke up in the middle of night, 3h41 am. Turned TV on, crappy programs, is tehre really peopel tuned in at that hour of the night? finally got myself to sleep, helped by the thought of my honey.... strong thought deep thought lots of him, him, him...
Am at chronicles book II. The story is so captivating I can hardly read anything else (I generally read 2 or 3 books at a same time...)... the situations, no matter what the fantasy world, feels real, I mean, the feelings feels real all way through.....
again, tears nearly came true too... ^^
***
To Do:
- learn how Cool Edit Pro works
- make a table of content for my Tagalog textbook
- resize pics, so taht i can make a webpage about it
- learn how to insert thumbnails
-shopping for groceries
Woke up in the middle of night, 3h41 am. Turned TV on, crappy programs, is tehre really peopel tuned in at that hour of the night? finally got myself to sleep, helped by the thought of my honey.... strong thought deep thought lots of him, him, him...
Am at chronicles book II. The story is so captivating I can hardly read anything else (I generally read 2 or 3 books at a same time...)... the situations, no matter what the fantasy world, feels real, I mean, the feelings feels real all way through.....
again, tears nearly came true too... ^^
***
To Do:
- learn how Cool Edit Pro works
- make a table of content for my Tagalog textbook
- resize pics, so taht i can make a webpage about it
- learn how to insert thumbnails
-
Friday, September 02, 2005
The first time in a long time....
Finishing the second volume of Dragonlance -- the Chronicles, I surprised myself by being on the verge of tears. You know, the kind of emotions that suddenly taps on your shoulder from behind, while you are watching a movie , alone in the dark... Well, imagine the very same emotoin, in daylight [well, at dusk], a book almost finished between your hands, in a noisy train, with people sitting around...
For a moment I was there in Krynn, feeling as I was living that painful events too.. [no more will I say, no spoilers here !! :p]
It's amazing, how words alone, can bring you to such a state of emotions. But maybe it is our society, so enclosed in a universe of images, pictures, colours and movements, that we almost forgot the very sensation of words, black on white in paper tears...And it's been a long time since I have found a book able to offer me all this...
Maybe books nowadays lack of this power of depicting things. OF having us actually live the story. Maybe a lot of them deal with faded subjects (books about sucessful people, books about "new writers", provocation, society books, Harry Potter (the 5th volume kinda annoyed me...so loud and so vain...)Maybe people lost the will to read about heroic stories too.... How many of them have seen "The Lord of the Rings"... But how many of them did actually read it, making their way through the story behind the story, the highly spiritual content? People crave for fast seeing, fast consuming, then forgot about everything when it's not "hype" anymore. How many would dare say they think "Aragorn is darn hot" (well, me, I must admit ;) )? Saying that you pre-ordered "HP6" is sooooo much more hype-ish !
On another side, how people would be able to discover those wonderful Dragonlance stories, considering how difficult the books are to find?
My only advice would be.... Unless you got lucky finding a boyfriend (^*^)who can teach you the ancient lore and arcane knowledge of heroic-fantasy litterature, go get yourself the Chronicles of the Dragonlance series. By far, the most well written books in that genre, where Knights in armour seem so alive, where Elven maiden are anything but some silly lighthead brats, where dragons can get a medieval flavour that your KungFu's ones cannot offer you, where fantastic or human characters go through the same pains and sorrows we all know: betrayal, hard choices to make for a life, friendship, love, honour, choices, but also failures, sadness, mistakes or death...
Tolkien can be proud of his paper children....
For a moment I was there in Krynn, feeling as I was living that painful events too.. [no more will I say, no spoilers here !! :p]
It's amazing, how words alone, can bring you to such a state of emotions. But maybe it is our society, so enclosed in a universe of images, pictures, colours and movements, that we almost forgot the very sensation of words, black on white in paper tears...And it's been a long time since I have found a book able to offer me all this...
Maybe books nowadays lack of this power of depicting things. OF having us actually live the story. Maybe a lot of them deal with faded subjects (books about sucessful people, books about "new writers", provocation, society books, Harry Potter (the 5th volume kinda annoyed me...so loud and so vain...)Maybe people lost the will to read about heroic stories too.... How many of them have seen "The Lord of the Rings"... But how many of them did actually read it, making their way through the story behind the story, the highly spiritual content? People crave for fast seeing, fast consuming, then forgot about everything when it's not "hype" anymore. How many would dare say they think "Aragorn is darn hot" (well, me, I must admit ;) )? Saying that you pre-ordered "HP6" is sooooo much more hype-ish !
On another side, how people would be able to discover those wonderful Dragonlance stories, considering how difficult the books are to find?
My only advice would be.... Unless you got lucky finding a boyfriend (^*^)who can teach you the ancient lore and arcane knowledge of heroic-fantasy litterature, go get yourself the Chronicles of the Dragonlance series. By far, the most well written books in that genre, where Knights in armour seem so alive, where Elven maiden are anything but some silly lighthead brats, where dragons can get a medieval flavour that your KungFu's ones cannot offer you, where fantastic or human characters go through the same pains and sorrows we all know: betrayal, hard choices to make for a life, friendship, love, honour, choices, but also failures, sadness, mistakes or death...
Tolkien can be proud of his paper children....
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Raist'
Wrote an entry yes.
But I felt like keeping it private...
^*^
:edit:
let me introduce you to my new collection of gifs ^^
^*^
Monday, August 29, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
My, what a week !!
Such a week I haven't been trough since long !!!
Never seen so many slight annoyances, bothering, nagging in such a little period of time.... The telly which goes all funny when I decide to watch it, boss being moody as ever, hiding to us essential information, insomnia, insomnia, insomnia, insomnia...and maybe my getting a cold, and nearly lost my engraved ballpen on top of it all...
Not even talking about that guy who scared the hell out of me this Wednesday.
Hopefully, in the middle of it all, the plane tickets that i gonna buy tomorrow. 66 days left, and all those troubles will be forgotten.
And ranking first on my wishlist, guess who? My special someone...Because, all in all, I could get all the books I want, all the blings, the gadgets, the wealth or the phones I want.... If I have no one to share all that with me.... It would be as useless as a stone in sand desert. I do not want a room full of books, cd's or manga... I would prefer a cosy bed, with one or two books only, a few songs but someone I can cuddle close with, and share my happiness, my fears.... my emotions, in a word...
I learn everyday. I want to learn everday. Especially from the mistakes I do. Be a better person. Be a better friend. Be a better me. Not being afraid to prove wrong, and willing to go further, always. Stand up, again and again, whenever life knocks me down. So that in the end, in front of a God I do believe in, I won't have to be ashamed of my life.
* * * *
[sleep, at last. Inside those arms that, alone, can ease my worries...]
Never seen so many slight annoyances, bothering, nagging in such a little period of time.... The telly which goes all funny when I decide to watch it, boss being moody as ever, hiding to us essential information, insomnia, insomnia, insomnia, insomnia...and maybe my getting a cold, and nearly lost my engraved ballpen on top of it all...
Not even talking about that guy who scared the hell out of me this Wednesday.
Hopefully, in the middle of it all, the plane tickets that i gonna buy tomorrow. 66 days left, and all those troubles will be forgotten.
And ranking first on my wishlist, guess who? My special someone...Because, all in all, I could get all the books I want, all the blings, the gadgets, the wealth or the phones I want.... If I have no one to share all that with me.... It would be as useless as a stone in sand desert. I do not want a room full of books, cd's or manga... I would prefer a cosy bed, with one or two books only, a few songs but someone I can cuddle close with, and share my happiness, my fears.... my emotions, in a word...
I learn everyday. I want to learn everday. Especially from the mistakes I do. Be a better person. Be a better friend. Be a better me. Not being afraid to prove wrong, and willing to go further, always. Stand up, again and again, whenever life knocks me down. So that in the end, in front of a God I do believe in, I won't have to be ashamed of my life.
* * * *
[sleep, at last. Inside those arms that, alone, can ease my worries...]
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