Sunday, December 31, 2006

Funny facts

What after two years of intermittent blogging here?

I read more than I write. Or comment. I wish I could be a professionnal reader sometimes.

No kidding.

I feel more at ease talking truely about myself on a forum, or here, than in real life. I still like better listen to other people's stories.

It prevents people from asking questions I am not willing to answer.

The reason I am disclosing (parts of) my life to strangers over the internet is still mysterious. I thought first I was a writer. Two years and a half of writer's block lead me to think better of it. Maybe the very reason is that I can complain and whine away without bothering anyone. As for the people chosing to comment, it means they really care. Up to me to answer. Or not. I think it is a fair solution. And no one really knows where truth ends, where fiction begins.

And it prevents me from thinking and brewing too many dark thoughts.






See ya all in 2007 !

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Les Bienveillantes

Okay...

I started to read that monster of a Goncourt prize...I knew it was gonna talk about war, about a nazi's confessions, so nothing to do with Harry Potter fighting the evil wizard Tom Jedusor...

Guess it is toooo tooo early to give something of an opinion, let's say I like the fact that this book really have you wondering about what you believe in. Especially the innuendos about "don't blame me, were you at my place, you would have done the same".

Guess everyone around here, even I, would say NO WAY !! But I also remember a well known experiment, the Milgram one.

I hope I can finish the book, and see what the author's purpose was meant to be.


* * *

Reading a post by a fellow blogger I have a bad feeling... Don't tell me it is C or G who closed their his blog?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Christmas loot

Murakami Haruki : "Hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world"
Murakami Haruki: " Dance dance dance"
Murakami Haruki :" Blind willow, sleeping woman"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

I missed the job again...


Ah...well...


but there are anther perspective so wait and see !!... ^*^

Friday, December 22, 2006

The weather is fairly damp, and the city looks a bit sad, but hey it's almost Christmas, and everyone should be happy happy... Ah maybe the people at FNAC shop do not react alike, to them 15 minute's queing that's far too much, even if they hold what could be someone's favourite Christmas present. I take a book out my bag, and start reading, pacing slowly toward the cashier. I got three Murakami's for Xmas, but I am supersticious and do not wanna open them before Santa's officially visited my place.

There is too much people around for me too feel allright though, but it's ok, I cope with it. I slither amongst the crowd in St Catherine's palce, I like it better last year anyway... Everything, even the new light show on the Grand Place feels like déjà vu, maybe i'd like better more Santa's and less void.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Blogger upgrade !!

Finally switched to the old beta-blogger, which is now Blogger, and which promises lots of improvements.

aha, show me what you got, baby!

*edit*

===NEW HOMEPAGE===

click the smiley below hehe !!



Monday, December 18, 2006

*aouch* *aouch* *aouch*

wisdom teeth, or what I assume are wisdom teeth, hurts alot... so today's schedule is gonna be rest, rest, rest, and rest.

current infatuation: CSI Las Vegas

footage: "Grave danger" season 5, final
music: "Iris", by the Goo goo dolls
credits: CBS and Rhysenn@Youtube

Friday, December 15, 2006

16:37 PM

I turn the TV on, hoping that its noise will make time pass faster....Of course it won't, well, not as fast as I'd want it to be. I am waiting for him, I feel like I am waiting forever. I don't want to talk, because I don't know what to do. I don't know if I am okay, I guess I am, I am healthy, I am cute, and I am in love...But I am worried too... I used to love solitude, make the best out of it. I used to write at least, not good or bad, just write, now it seems I am reading, always the same, waisting away days after days after nonsense. Would I be happier if my daily planner was oooooooozing out dates and parties? Would I be happier that way? I sing, it is all I can do. I feel like I never fit in, well, not now.

6 months.

There are a lot of things that annoys me, and that I cannot say aloud. The selfishness of some persons, persons I thought close to me. She is close still, but I do not want to tell her how I feel. How her making out in public makes me feel ill at ease, how her reproaches seem vain to me. I have the right to like other people too, throw a party on my own too.

My heart skips a beat everytime someone is connecting, but it is not yet the good nickname. So I stay invisible. And I wait for him to come back. Meanwhile, and when I am not brewing dark thoughts, I think about myself, modify my blog, delete some old ones, take good resolutions, stuffs like that... I wanna get the hell out of here, but at the same time I am afraid to be even more lonely. I want a place I could call our own, and not being dependent on anybody's will anymore. Having MY room, with MY furnitures, and not obeying home rules that are not MINE. I want a net connection, to me it is vital, even if some will say otherwise. I don't care. I want internet, full stop.

Writing. Since when have I been writing anything looking like a story? It's been in another life I think. Maybe I am better off reading. Having no author's pride. I hate it when some people talk about "their books", and are physically unable to write a sentence with some meaning inside. I know I can be a b!tch sometimes, but I am fed up licking everybody else's shoes. You write poorly dear, and despite your lot of characters, I can never get interested in what you say.... The only writer I personally know.... well I stopped talking to him for stupid reasons, and now I am stucked at chapter 13 forever. Maybe one day I'll swallow my pride, and ask him to keep on reading. I guess he never gonna reply. But I can tell you this man does have talent. Maybe you should take him as example. And learn English first.

2 weeks.

Ah those Xmas seasons, and new year too...I just don't like them now taht I am a grownup. Nothing ever comes my way, I wonder why I so want it to feel like "Christmas". With candles and songs and presents and all.... It brings nothing but stress, and I always end up alone upstairs, disappointed. Maybe tomorrow, we gonna decorate the Christmas tree...It is I guess, one of my favourite childhood memories. Christmas time, nice movies or cartoons, and the tree glowering gently in the dark lounge. The smell of firewood. Chestnuts on the stove. Printen, and sometimes, nice presents under the tree, near little Jesus. I do believe in Jesus. It's with religion I got a problem.

What I want to say today: never forget to say I love you to your loved once, because you can never tell if it will be the last time or not.

Maybe the biggest risk is trusting people. But when you do, life is so much easier.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

1/3 no Junjou na kanjou

1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou

Siam Shade IV-Zero
[Rurouni Kenshin] Ending Song
Ending Song


CHORUS 1
kowareru hodo aishitemo
sanbun no ichi mo tsutawaranai
junjou na kanjou wa karamawari
I love you sae ienaideiru my heart............

nagakute nemureani yoru ga kimi e to omoi
sore wa koi na n desu to sasayaku yo
tomedonaku katari kakeru yureru todou wa
binetsu majiri no tameiki e to kawaru

give me smile and shiny days
kimi no smile de
itetsuku yoru no samusa mo good koraerareru

CHORUS 2
kowareru hodo aishitemo
san bun no ichi mo tsutawaranai
junjou na kanjou wa karamawari
i love you sae ienaideiru my heart.........

mannatsu no ame no you ni
kawaita suhada
uruosu kimi no egao ga mabushikute

Give me smile and shiny days,
kyuu ni sumasanaide
donna ni konnan de nankan na kabe mo koeru kara

ChORUS 3
dore dake kimi wo aishitara
kono omoi todoku no darou
mitsumerareru to ienai
kotoba ga chuu ni mau
***
hanarereba hanareru hodo
itoshii hito da to kizuku
motomereba motomeru hodo ni
setsunai kyori wo kanjiteru my heart...

***SOLO***

Give me smile and shine days
Give me smile and nice days
moshi mo kono ude de kimi to dakishimeaeta nara

CHORUS 4
dore dake kimi wo aishitara
kono omoi todoku no darou
yume no naka de watashi ka ni
ieta hazu na no ni
***
kowareru hodo aishitemo
san bun no ichi mo tsutawaranai
junjou na kanjou wa karamawari
I love you sae ienaideiru My Heart...

My heart...


==========================================

CHORUS 1
Even if my love reaches the breaking point,
1/3 of it won't reach
My true feelings are just spinning on air,
my heart isn't even saying "I love you"

On the long, sleepless nights,
the images I send to you whisper "that is love".
continuously shaking speech that moves you to tears
changes into a slight fever mingled with a sigh

Give me a smile and shiny days,
by your smile
I can withstand the cold of a frozen night.

CHORUS 2
Even if my love reaches the breaking point,
1/3 of it won't reach
My true feelings are just spinning on air,
my heart isn't even saying "I love you"

Like rain in the middle of summer,
the dry, bareness moistens, your smile is bright.

Give me a smile and shiny days,
don't clear up so quickly!
Because we can overcome any wall that stands in our way.

CHORUS 3
Whoever you love,
these images will reach them, right?
Don't say you cannot find them,
your words are dancing in space.
***
The further apart you go,
the more it hurts the person you love
The more I chase them,
the more my heart feels the cruel distance

***SOLO***

Give me a smile and shiny days,
Give me a smile and nice days,
If only we could meet in an embrace...


CHORUS 4
Whoever you love,
these images will reach them, right?
If only you had said so in your dreams

Even if my love reaches the breaking point,
1/3 of it won't reach
My true feelings are just spinning on air,
my heart isn't even saying "I love you"

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

at least virtually, because i don't think we gonna see actual snowflakes soon around here...

am still buried deep in the harry potter saga, in English this time... volume 5 already, and harry still fighting with his emo-teenage angst, and voldemort, too.

i want books, books, books for Christmas... those are the only available, rather cheap things i can decently ask Santa this year...if he could send me an all wrapped Monmon, or a one way ticket to the philippines, i'd take it too, more eagerly than all the books of the world.

and for your own pleasure, tidbits of Aachen Christmas market, Germany. Enjoy.

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting