So our salaries haven't been paid yet.
So this means that, should the lawyers barge in and cloe the ofc, i woudl have work all that month for nothing.
And i still must keep on smiling, because that's how things go, never should you tell your boss right in the face how you think about him being fair to you, especially when you have a rent to pay, and bills to honour in time.
I guess that's how the world goes, and that i shall have to outsmart the situation in a way or another...
I feel like Gavroche, I feel like being shot down while doing my task. I feel like this is just so fucking unfair....And not only for me, but to all the people working here, some for more than 20 years (20 years !), having families to care for and such....
Not my cup of tea to be a resentful person. But I cannot help feeling angry at how unfair such a situation is. You do your job, the best you can, you swallow yor pride and keep your fists in your pockets and you are being thanked by not received what you are legally entitled to on time.
I feel disgusted, revolted, angry, full of loath.
"La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid", though....
Now I pray for the bailiffs to come soon, and put an end to all of this masquerade...
Monday, February 28, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Entered Sandman
I had that strange dream, tonight….
There were those huge buildings, looking like the High School ones you can see everywhere in Japan, be it in anime or in real life. In my dream they were empty, I guess it was at night, but I am not sure. There we were, with a bunch of friends. I was taking care of my girl friends, she was wounded, having bruises and cuts in her arms. She was very shocked, keeping repeating again and again that we wouldn't make it through. From far away, we could hear shootings, and people screaming and running away…
There was that long hall, all dark and ominous. As I was following my brothers in arms (somehow, I knew this was war) I was wondering what mattered most: risking my life and being shot down by opponents I didn’t even know, in the middle of a fight I didn’t even know the purpose of, or trying to escape?
I remember clearly wondering about if I was acting like a coward or not.
Then I took my decision, and followed a person (or was it me leading?) through another halls and stairs and rooms. Then I saw lots of shattered glass, like broken bottles and blood spilled on the floor of a very bright room. I shivered because not only I knew there had been someone dead, but I also knew who it was : FOBulous, a daiforum friend. I know it sounds weird, why him, why the certitude it was him being dead somewhere around here???
I panicked, and tried to escape that labyrinth of a school, or whatever that building was. I remember we tried to hide from our opponents, but then, as we we opened a staircase door leading to the roof, thinking we had finally found an escape , armed people rushed towards us, saying they were traitors and that we were going to die soon. Those were people from our very team, so we understood they were traitors...
Then a big blank, and me and my best girl friend were hiding in the park outside, up on a tree. We weren’t uttering a sound, and stared blandly at the row of buildings, all the same, all dark and discarded and still full of shooting sounds.
Then I think I woke up, and all I remember was me trying not to forget that dream, and still wondering if I was acting like a coward or not….
And I still cannot find an answer…
There were those huge buildings, looking like the High School ones you can see everywhere in Japan, be it in anime or in real life. In my dream they were empty, I guess it was at night, but I am not sure. There we were, with a bunch of friends. I was taking care of my girl friends, she was wounded, having bruises and cuts in her arms. She was very shocked, keeping repeating again and again that we wouldn't make it through. From far away, we could hear shootings, and people screaming and running away…
There was that long hall, all dark and ominous. As I was following my brothers in arms (somehow, I knew this was war) I was wondering what mattered most: risking my life and being shot down by opponents I didn’t even know, in the middle of a fight I didn’t even know the purpose of, or trying to escape?
I remember clearly wondering about if I was acting like a coward or not.
Then I took my decision, and followed a person (or was it me leading?) through another halls and stairs and rooms. Then I saw lots of shattered glass, like broken bottles and blood spilled on the floor of a very bright room. I shivered because not only I knew there had been someone dead, but I also knew who it was : FOBulous, a daiforum friend. I know it sounds weird, why him, why the certitude it was him being dead somewhere around here???
I panicked, and tried to escape that labyrinth of a school, or whatever that building was. I remember we tried to hide from our opponents, but then, as we we opened a staircase door leading to the roof, thinking we had finally found an escape , armed people rushed towards us, saying they were traitors and that we were going to die soon. Those were people from our very team, so we understood they were traitors...
Then a big blank, and me and my best girl friend were hiding in the park outside, up on a tree. We weren’t uttering a sound, and stared blandly at the row of buildings, all the same, all dark and discarded and still full of shooting sounds.
Then I think I woke up, and all I remember was me trying not to forget that dream, and still wondering if I was acting like a coward or not….
And I still cannot find an answer…
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Rilo Kiley concert at the Botanique...
“And it’s only doubts that we’re counting
On fingers broken long ago
I read with every broken hearts
we should become more adventurous”
Rilo Kiley
Somehow, those lyrics can summarize my feeling about the concert last night…Never had I been through so many emotions in such a little time…. Thank you, Jan, for the ticket….that very story could fill a whole entry in itself .... ^ ^
Anyway, on Monday 21st, 7PM, I finally get at the concert venue . My friend Jan was there , so we chatted and had a drink before he left to watch another concert. I could have sworn I saw Blake hanging around….And just seeing him, right before he entered the concert room for a last rehearsal felt so unreal, so thrilling in itself ! I mean being here at the Botanique for the first time in my life, and finally watch the band that changed my life in a so many ways… 7h20, my friend departed, and I decided to hang around a bit more near the entrance.
That's where I heard the band playing live for the first time. Still on rehearsal, I was just at a few meters of the doors, but Jenny’s powerful voice could made it through them…I decided to stay right where I was and be in the firsts to come in, no matter my silly standing alone….Finally they let us is. They put a “R” on my left hand, as a proof I was allowed to approach what was becoming the Saint Graal for me. So I set myself right in front of the stage, even if I know it’s not the best place to fully appreciate the music. I guess I wanted to actually see them. So that I could finally realize this was not a dream anymore…
As the hall were slowly crowding , I took the time to look around…. The hall, pretty tiny, has a very large stage, compared to the audience pit. Right in front of me, the backup speakers, and my coat and things packed up next. I if looked up, I could see the mic right in front of me. And in a side, a roadie checking the guitar strings for the last time before the show..Then I took a better glance at the stage itself… the black wooden floor, all smoothened by a oh-so-many bands ….I realized how I suddenly missed that feeling, that atmosphere, all those sensations that , in my humble way, I had experienced a good 10 year ago ….then the instruments, the drums, the keyboards, and the guitars, gently waiting on their supports…Jenny’s…Blake’s… Pierre’s…
First bellring…I felt the tension heighten up, within a few moments, they would be here, right in front of me… On my left, two students were revising their notes for a forthcoming exam, and on my right, two friends were meeting at last, happy to have made their way through the crowd… Second bellring, the entrance doors closed. Third bellring, I think, and they suddenly were there. First of all, I saw Jenny crossing the stage, a beer on her hand. As for Blake, I had imagined her taller. Then she put her bottle away, took her guitar, glanced at us, then smiled at her band, to finally pull the first chord of “it’s a hit”.
I must admit I nearly cried. I must admit it felt kinda overwhelmed by the whole thing. All of a sudden , I felt past memories, from last August till now, rushing back in my mind. Then the music. Powerfull and cheerful. I felt there were nothing more around, just the band , the music and me, silently musing all those lyrics I knew by heart for so long...
I took a closer look at Jenny first. She was right in front of me, wearing a simple pair of fitted jeans and a skin coloured lace-like top. Her redhair hanging loose on her face, no make up. How such a tiny woman can irradiate so much energy, I still haven’t figured out…. Same for Blake, and Pierre, the bassist. And the drummer whose I forgot the name…. All jumping and fooling around, though focused all the time, acting as they were a bunch of buddies rehearsing in a garage. Of course, I had seen their show live, but the way the performed so naturally was just beyond any expectations…
As the songs went by, I couldn’t help but remembering all the whereabouts that had let me right here, on that cold February night. As Jenny start singing “hail to whatever…”, I remembered that day in august when I bought my first cd. How I had discovered them, out of the blue, simply because I had trusted Patrick, a daiforum friend…and the talkings about life and love and the rest that had followed....
“Hi there people, we are Rilo Kiley, I hope you enjoy !!”… I think I was beyond enjoyment…somewhere in between being overflowned by emotions, and still in disbelief… I cried “woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo” along with the audience. Which seemed to really enjoy the show, btw ^ ^… I could catch some thumping along in rhythm, even the two highschool girls had forgotten about their exams…
As Blake started to pull the “ripchord”, the atmosphere really warmed up… Blake joking about the tuning of his guitar, then finally beginning the song, while Jenny and Pierre, sitting on the floor accompanied him at the tambourine…. Then came “more adventurous”, Jenny and her harmonica were right in front of me again…. And raising eyes toward a star couldn’t have been more true at that moment. I felt like a child in front of her favourite movie, forgetting all of a sudden about how Rilo’s songs had made me grow up…. I silently mused the lyrics of that very song, so precious to me for so many reason… I missed my boyfriend, and I missed Patrick too. I remember all the sadness of the past months, and the strength, the will to go on that this very tune had gave me. Though I think I won’t dare to sing it again. Once again, I was amazed at Jenny’s talent. At how she could embody a song, hardly using anything but her voice. I could see her face, now so sweet and kind, telling us how we should be more adventurous. I could see Blakes’s guitar gently accompany her, when minutes ago, he was madly jumping around doing crazy riffs on “portions for foxes”.
Not my point to sound pretentious or anything. But I felt I was doing more than simply watching my favourite band. I felt like all the decisions I had taken so far, and with the help of certain people dear to me, were the right ones. I felt like seeing Rilo Kiley was making that part of my life real. Something beyond, posts and blog entries. I couldn’t even objectively rate Rilo’s performance, since to me it was unique. I surely heard odds and bits here and there, but it simply made those people even more real.
Then came “does he love you”, as a final song. Though the setlist is now a bit blurred in my mind. I love that song for so many reasons, that I couldn’t give them all in there. But in a purely musical point of view, maybe because it has soft and strong passages, all in a perfect ensemble. I guess that what makes Rilo Kiley’s strength. To be able to reach the extremes in a smooth , and natural way…
Then the band went away, as naturally that it had entered the stage. I choosed to get outside…Just to realize a few minutes later that they had come back to pack themselves their instruments…I felt my heart sink. Maybe I had missed the only chance to talk to them, after all? But then I thought better of it. No way, I certainly wasn’t gonna bother them, mad fan-like attitude, as they were packing their things away. Even if it meant never meeting them, well so be it. I have too much respect for them.
So I roamed near the T-shirt and CD table, bought myself a dark blue one. Asked about how was the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the band… The girl smiled at me and told me to stay around. Maybe I might see one or another member? So I decided to sit on bench, an tried to set my mind back together. As the people crowded in again to watch Bright Eyes, all I could do was viewing the concert in my mind, again and again….Well, at least I think so, because I felt pretty numb at that very time. Kinda empty sort of. Then the Bright Eyes show began, as I could heard the band behind the doors, again closed. From time to time, as people went in and out, I could hear songs of what looked like a new Jeff Buckley. But I felt totally unable to focus on something new, right after my Rilo Kiley adventure. And for that , I do apologize to Bright Eyes…
Then yet another people crossed the entrance, and joined the lounge bar. Ordering some tea, as any other lambda guys would do. And that time, no mistake, it actually was Blake and Pierre. I felt my heart skip a beat. This was now or never. So I packed all my cd’s, told my self to get my 27 year old shy-frozen ass off the bench, and go and talk to them. I cannot exactly remember what I told them, but I was something like “can I say hello?” They friendly said hi back, and smiled at the cd’s I was holding in a somewhat trembling hands. Blake asked me if I’d like to have them signed and I said yes, really. Then as I was waiting, they asked me how I got the cd’s especially the Fingerprint one. I didn’t even dare to shake hands with them, nor taking a picture. I felt like I was meeting a dream, and getting the chance to talk to them was simply too much already. I felt amazed at how the same they were, be it on stage, or chatting around a table. I told them congratz, and to Jenny to, such lame words, while all I wanted to express was how they actually changed my world.
Then I took my leave. Back to my bench, in a hypothetic waiting for Jenny to appear. Had she been around though, I would have totally shy out, I’m sure.
Then I came back home.
I literally felt exhausted, emotionally speaking. I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Just be there. At home, I unpacked my cds, and put them on my desk, right with the T-shirt. Then I prepared myself for the night. Oddly enough, I didn’t listen to any of the cd’s. I didn’t open them to check the sigs. all I could do was listening to Rivermaya, while jotting down my first impressions, in short words, and in English. I could finally get asleep around 1 AM, the physical fatigue slowly numbing my mind away.
It was only this morning that I fully realized how real it had been. How the blueish “R” on my hand, even after 2 showers, hadn’t disappeared yet. How my cd’s were actually signed, and how the T-shirt was a Rilo Kiley one. Only at that moment, I put the "More adventurous" album in the player.
So what was left now? A big smile on my face, and the amazement at how such an odd serie of events led me from buying a cd, to an unexpected encounter in a café, to the Rilo Kiley concert in Belgium. I guess that this is part of the happy ending that awaits you, when you become more adventurous....
And to every single ones, thank you….
On fingers broken long ago
I read with every broken hearts
we should become more adventurous”
Rilo Kiley
Somehow, those lyrics can summarize my feeling about the concert last night…Never had I been through so many emotions in such a little time…. Thank you, Jan, for the ticket….that very story could fill a whole entry in itself .... ^ ^
Anyway, on Monday 21st, 7PM, I finally get at the concert venue . My friend Jan was there , so we chatted and had a drink before he left to watch another concert. I could have sworn I saw Blake hanging around….And just seeing him, right before he entered the concert room for a last rehearsal felt so unreal, so thrilling in itself ! I mean being here at the Botanique for the first time in my life, and finally watch the band that changed my life in a so many ways… 7h20, my friend departed, and I decided to hang around a bit more near the entrance.
That's where I heard the band playing live for the first time. Still on rehearsal, I was just at a few meters of the doors, but Jenny’s powerful voice could made it through them…I decided to stay right where I was and be in the firsts to come in, no matter my silly standing alone….Finally they let us is. They put a “R” on my left hand, as a proof I was allowed to approach what was becoming the Saint Graal for me. So I set myself right in front of the stage, even if I know it’s not the best place to fully appreciate the music. I guess I wanted to actually see them. So that I could finally realize this was not a dream anymore…
As the hall were slowly crowding , I took the time to look around…. The hall, pretty tiny, has a very large stage, compared to the audience pit. Right in front of me, the backup speakers, and my coat and things packed up next. I if looked up, I could see the mic right in front of me. And in a side, a roadie checking the guitar strings for the last time before the show..Then I took a better glance at the stage itself… the black wooden floor, all smoothened by a oh-so-many bands ….I realized how I suddenly missed that feeling, that atmosphere, all those sensations that , in my humble way, I had experienced a good 10 year ago ….then the instruments, the drums, the keyboards, and the guitars, gently waiting on their supports…Jenny’s…Blake’s… Pierre’s…
First bellring…I felt the tension heighten up, within a few moments, they would be here, right in front of me… On my left, two students were revising their notes for a forthcoming exam, and on my right, two friends were meeting at last, happy to have made their way through the crowd… Second bellring, the entrance doors closed. Third bellring, I think, and they suddenly were there. First of all, I saw Jenny crossing the stage, a beer on her hand. As for Blake, I had imagined her taller. Then she put her bottle away, took her guitar, glanced at us, then smiled at her band, to finally pull the first chord of “it’s a hit”.
I must admit I nearly cried. I must admit it felt kinda overwhelmed by the whole thing. All of a sudden , I felt past memories, from last August till now, rushing back in my mind. Then the music. Powerfull and cheerful. I felt there were nothing more around, just the band , the music and me, silently musing all those lyrics I knew by heart for so long...
I took a closer look at Jenny first. She was right in front of me, wearing a simple pair of fitted jeans and a skin coloured lace-like top. Her redhair hanging loose on her face, no make up. How such a tiny woman can irradiate so much energy, I still haven’t figured out…. Same for Blake, and Pierre, the bassist. And the drummer whose I forgot the name…. All jumping and fooling around, though focused all the time, acting as they were a bunch of buddies rehearsing in a garage. Of course, I had seen their show live, but the way the performed so naturally was just beyond any expectations…
As the songs went by, I couldn’t help but remembering all the whereabouts that had let me right here, on that cold February night. As Jenny start singing “hail to whatever…”, I remembered that day in august when I bought my first cd. How I had discovered them, out of the blue, simply because I had trusted Patrick, a daiforum friend…and the talkings about life and love and the rest that had followed....
“Hi there people, we are Rilo Kiley, I hope you enjoy !!”… I think I was beyond enjoyment…somewhere in between being overflowned by emotions, and still in disbelief… I cried “woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo” along with the audience. Which seemed to really enjoy the show, btw ^ ^… I could catch some thumping along in rhythm, even the two highschool girls had forgotten about their exams…
As Blake started to pull the “ripchord”, the atmosphere really warmed up… Blake joking about the tuning of his guitar, then finally beginning the song, while Jenny and Pierre, sitting on the floor accompanied him at the tambourine…. Then came “more adventurous”, Jenny and her harmonica were right in front of me again…. And raising eyes toward a star couldn’t have been more true at that moment. I felt like a child in front of her favourite movie, forgetting all of a sudden about how Rilo’s songs had made me grow up…. I silently mused the lyrics of that very song, so precious to me for so many reason… I missed my boyfriend, and I missed Patrick too. I remember all the sadness of the past months, and the strength, the will to go on that this very tune had gave me. Though I think I won’t dare to sing it again. Once again, I was amazed at Jenny’s talent. At how she could embody a song, hardly using anything but her voice. I could see her face, now so sweet and kind, telling us how we should be more adventurous. I could see Blakes’s guitar gently accompany her, when minutes ago, he was madly jumping around doing crazy riffs on “portions for foxes”.
Not my point to sound pretentious or anything. But I felt I was doing more than simply watching my favourite band. I felt like all the decisions I had taken so far, and with the help of certain people dear to me, were the right ones. I felt like seeing Rilo Kiley was making that part of my life real. Something beyond, posts and blog entries. I couldn’t even objectively rate Rilo’s performance, since to me it was unique. I surely heard odds and bits here and there, but it simply made those people even more real.
Then came “does he love you”, as a final song. Though the setlist is now a bit blurred in my mind. I love that song for so many reasons, that I couldn’t give them all in there. But in a purely musical point of view, maybe because it has soft and strong passages, all in a perfect ensemble. I guess that what makes Rilo Kiley’s strength. To be able to reach the extremes in a smooth , and natural way…
Then the band went away, as naturally that it had entered the stage. I choosed to get outside…Just to realize a few minutes later that they had come back to pack themselves their instruments…I felt my heart sink. Maybe I had missed the only chance to talk to them, after all? But then I thought better of it. No way, I certainly wasn’t gonna bother them, mad fan-like attitude, as they were packing their things away. Even if it meant never meeting them, well so be it. I have too much respect for them.
So I roamed near the T-shirt and CD table, bought myself a dark blue one. Asked about how was the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the band… The girl smiled at me and told me to stay around. Maybe I might see one or another member? So I decided to sit on bench, an tried to set my mind back together. As the people crowded in again to watch Bright Eyes, all I could do was viewing the concert in my mind, again and again….Well, at least I think so, because I felt pretty numb at that very time. Kinda empty sort of. Then the Bright Eyes show began, as I could heard the band behind the doors, again closed. From time to time, as people went in and out, I could hear songs of what looked like a new Jeff Buckley. But I felt totally unable to focus on something new, right after my Rilo Kiley adventure. And for that , I do apologize to Bright Eyes…
Then yet another people crossed the entrance, and joined the lounge bar. Ordering some tea, as any other lambda guys would do. And that time, no mistake, it actually was Blake and Pierre. I felt my heart skip a beat. This was now or never. So I packed all my cd’s, told my self to get my 27 year old shy-frozen ass off the bench, and go and talk to them. I cannot exactly remember what I told them, but I was something like “can I say hello?” They friendly said hi back, and smiled at the cd’s I was holding in a somewhat trembling hands. Blake asked me if I’d like to have them signed and I said yes, really. Then as I was waiting, they asked me how I got the cd’s especially the Fingerprint one. I didn’t even dare to shake hands with them, nor taking a picture. I felt like I was meeting a dream, and getting the chance to talk to them was simply too much already. I felt amazed at how the same they were, be it on stage, or chatting around a table. I told them congratz, and to Jenny to, such lame words, while all I wanted to express was how they actually changed my world.
Then I took my leave. Back to my bench, in a hypothetic waiting for Jenny to appear. Had she been around though, I would have totally shy out, I’m sure.
Then I came back home.
I literally felt exhausted, emotionally speaking. I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Just be there. At home, I unpacked my cds, and put them on my desk, right with the T-shirt. Then I prepared myself for the night. Oddly enough, I didn’t listen to any of the cd’s. I didn’t open them to check the sigs. all I could do was listening to Rivermaya, while jotting down my first impressions, in short words, and in English. I could finally get asleep around 1 AM, the physical fatigue slowly numbing my mind away.
It was only this morning that I fully realized how real it had been. How the blueish “R” on my hand, even after 2 showers, hadn’t disappeared yet. How my cd’s were actually signed, and how the T-shirt was a Rilo Kiley one. Only at that moment, I put the "More adventurous" album in the player.
So what was left now? A big smile on my face, and the amazement at how such an odd serie of events led me from buying a cd, to an unexpected encounter in a café, to the Rilo Kiley concert in Belgium. I guess that this is part of the happy ending that awaits you, when you become more adventurous....
And to every single ones, thank you….
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
"Loving You" - Utada Hikaru
Loving you is easy
Cause you're beautiful
Making love with you
Is all I wanna to do
Loving you is more than
Just a dream comes ture
Cause everything that I do
Is out of loving you
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtimes
Cause loving you
Has made my life so beautiful ( Is easy cause you're beautiful )
Every day of my life
Is filled with loving you Loving you
I see your soul
Come shining thru
Every time that we oh.... I
'm more in love with you
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtimes
Cause loving you
Has made my life so beautiful ( Is easy cause you're beautiful )
Every day of my life
Is filled with loving you
Loving you I see your soul
Come shining true
Every time that we oh....
I'm more in love with you
Last night I cried about you my love.
I don’t know the exact reason, all I know is that I found myself in tears thinking about you….Blame it on the sad music of this movie I was watching. Blame it on my fatique, or on the cold day I spent in my office, thinking about how it felt good to spent that week-end with you… How it felt good to hear your soothing voice close to me… I just felt so empty, so helpless. How I wish I could find a way that could get us together in space..
Blame it on the fear I felt, when I learned there had been bombing attacks near your place. And not a single words in the news here in my country, I felt that a death in Beyrouth was more worthy than a death at your place. I simply could’nt stand this either. Damn scavengers journalists, making money out of human tragedy. I know I shouldn’t be that naïve, I know how the world goes…
Hopefully your song put a smile on my face. Helped me to think about positive issues, and hope. Maybe the people who gonna read this entry will think about me as an emo, mushy girl…. I don’t care. I love you, I wanna believe in you, so I don’t care. I am sick of cynicism, sarcasm and hatred. Sick of pretending to e a modern girl, simply because Cosmo says it's how life goes. I am me, so be it. And if being emotional means reaching our little heaven, you and I, then why not?
I would stand against everyone, if you would ask me to. I wouldn’t be afraid to build up something together with you. A relationship, and why not, a life with you. Because I do not wanna live with regrets in my mind.
Take care...
Loving you is easy
Cause you're beautiful
Making love with you
Is all I wanna to do
Loving you is more than
Just a dream comes ture
Cause everything that I do
Is out of loving you
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtimes
Cause loving you
Has made my life so beautiful ( Is easy cause you're beautiful )
Every day of my life
Is filled with loving you Loving you
I see your soul
Come shining thru
Every time that we oh.... I
'm more in love with you
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtimes
Cause loving you
Has made my life so beautiful ( Is easy cause you're beautiful )
Every day of my life
Is filled with loving you
Loving you I see your soul
Come shining true
Every time that we oh....
I'm more in love with you
Last night I cried about you my love.
I don’t know the exact reason, all I know is that I found myself in tears thinking about you….Blame it on the sad music of this movie I was watching. Blame it on my fatique, or on the cold day I spent in my office, thinking about how it felt good to spent that week-end with you… How it felt good to hear your soothing voice close to me… I just felt so empty, so helpless. How I wish I could find a way that could get us together in space..
Blame it on the fear I felt, when I learned there had been bombing attacks near your place. And not a single words in the news here in my country, I felt that a death in Beyrouth was more worthy than a death at your place. I simply could’nt stand this either. Damn scavengers journalists, making money out of human tragedy. I know I shouldn’t be that naïve, I know how the world goes…
Hopefully your song put a smile on my face. Helped me to think about positive issues, and hope. Maybe the people who gonna read this entry will think about me as an emo, mushy girl…. I don’t care. I love you, I wanna believe in you, so I don’t care. I am sick of cynicism, sarcasm and hatred. Sick of pretending to e a modern girl, simply because Cosmo says it's how life goes. I am me, so be it. And if being emotional means reaching our little heaven, you and I, then why not?
I would stand against everyone, if you would ask me to. I wouldn’t be afraid to build up something together with you. A relationship, and why not, a life with you. Because I do not wanna live with regrets in my mind.
Take care...
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Diamonds are not my Best Friends
Do As Infinity "need your love"
Eisley "room noises"
The Elected "me first"
and maybe The Postal Service "give up"
Eisley "room noises"
The Elected "me first"
and maybe The Postal Service "give up"
Monday, February 07, 2005
Just A Little Tought
What are our problems worth for, when faced to the loss of someone Dear? What are our little concerns worth for, when faced to Death Issues?
Yesterday a dear friend of mine told me about his Friend who had passed away this weekend. Couldn't say a thing, wouldn't ask a thing, only sending *hugs* and careful words. Because in our fantastic world full of gadet and great technilogies, we are still helpless when faced to that situation.
So I think about her. She was his best friend. Maybe I have seen her once, in those pictures he shared with me and another friend. Maybe she was there, beautiful, smiling at his side. Surely she is still around, relieved from any physical pain or worries, watching over him from up above.
And I think about him. Wishing he is alright, even if I know that right now, he cannot be... I know he is strong, I know he is sensitive. I know that eventually he'll make it through....But, why such a thing had to happen? If there's a God up above, I wish he could explain...
Should you read this, I want you to know that all my thoughts are with you.... *hugs*
My Condolences to you, and all my Respects to her.
Yesterday a dear friend of mine told me about his Friend who had passed away this weekend. Couldn't say a thing, wouldn't ask a thing, only sending *hugs* and careful words. Because in our fantastic world full of gadet and great technilogies, we are still helpless when faced to that situation.
So I think about her. She was his best friend. Maybe I have seen her once, in those pictures he shared with me and another friend. Maybe she was there, beautiful, smiling at his side. Surely she is still around, relieved from any physical pain or worries, watching over him from up above.
And I think about him. Wishing he is alright, even if I know that right now, he cannot be... I know he is strong, I know he is sensitive. I know that eventually he'll make it through....But, why such a thing had to happen? If there's a God up above, I wish he could explain...
Should you read this, I want you to know that all my thoughts are with you.... *hugs*
My Condolences to you, and all my Respects to her.
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