Tummy troubles, and the will to stay in bed all day, under the sheets, with a good book. My body feels weak, not willing to eat much. I am tired of sandwiches, and the gloomy sky doesn’t make me feel like cooking big things…
Christmas is a-coming, and yet again I feel in between joy and sadness… Why all the troubles seem to pile on in December I wonder… I am dreaming of a white, old fashioned Christmas, with a hearth and everyone gathered around it, eating Xmas food in a Xmas mood. I am not to complain though, I am lucky to have a family that sticks to tradition, that is willing to dress up in Xmas gear, with candles on the table, a red cloth, nice napkins and venison for a meal. And present under the Xmas tree, small ones, but meaningful. Often it’s not the amount of presents, but the heart you put on it.
My grandma being ill though, I wonder how this very Xmas celebration is gonna be. I don’t expect anything of it, just it to be the less sad as possible. Doing as if everything was okay, at least, not ruining it all.
New year will be celebrated within the family too. I guess that, after that crazy year, we all need some time for ourselves. The joy you get is the one you spare for themselves. A bit like the saying that you have to love yourself, to be able to love the others. It makes sense, cuz’ that way you can make yourself ready and at your best. And don’t you wanna give the best of yo to your beloved ones?
Gosh hom I miss my Beloved One....
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