i tried to sleep a bit, but i am so under pressure that all i can do is worrying even more. i am tired and physically not good, but sleep won't come easy to me.

i am stressed out by all the uncertainties surrounding me...job, paper problems, lodging problem...i feel lost, completely unable to find which solution is best. if i am writing in here, it's to try and not crying, i do not wanna tell my parents about my worries, i do not want to worry them.

i feel so lonely...i wish my loev and i would be together, i feel so lonely without him....i wish i had at least friends to be with, but they are all scattered around, stuck with work, or living so far away from me.... i wish i could forget my troubles by working, but the situation at the office is the worst ever. i am leaving definitely this May 31, and i am sincerely longing for it. i can't support the uncertainties anymore, it's eating me away...

i do not want to open myself to my fellow forumers, they got their own problems, and i do not wanna be a burden to them.

i do not know what to do to do good...All i am wishing for is june 11, leaving from here, and reach my fiance. that's all i am wanting now.

i feel like i am fighting against walls, but either it's me getting weaker, or it's the walls getting thicker. i wish i could hit them with all my strenght, until they break down. i wish nothing could attain me, i wish i could hide my tears better.