Opening "My Space" and "Friendster", I am amazed at how i still am unable to get out of my shell.. Looks like the forum is the only place where I dare affirm my personality...
I don't know why, but I always feel a bit out of place, out of time... Not that I don't want to talk, or comment, but I feel like I am more a reader than some active member of those communities...
Friendster is so nice to keep in touch though... How many people have I lost in the road. What are they doing now, sometimes I wonder. I imagine them married, having a working life, new friends, new acquaintance. And maybe in the corner of their head, the memory of a girl who sang each year at the school fair.
Singing.
Voicing out a sparkle of my soul. Then again, I make an appearance, then I disappear. I think mostly because, when I listen to the other people singing, I find myslef okay, but certainly not deserving that much attention. So then again, I shy away, ignore the "please sing more", and get to read another thread.
Unless my Mahal asks for it, I seldom indulge in singing for people. Maybe because when doing so, I show too much of myself, I feel too vulnerable.
Maybe Friendster and Myspace do the same to me. I like to stay in touch, but from a distance, I fell like I can never mix in. I do not like it when I feel I unveil myself too much. Only one person has the right to it. Only my loved one knows, and have seen the tiny breaks in my armour.
I made great progress since i have been foruming. But breaking the sheltering bubble around me will take time...
I guess that, up to then, I will be around, watching over from a distance....too reserved to touch the picture, but so happy to stare at it, and to be part of it.
^*^
6 comments:
I love Myspace. I have met so many people through that service, Golly. It's amazing.
And my list of people adding me just keeps growing and growing. I don't know why or how.
Wow, I am glad for you , Mojo !!!!
I guess I am not at ease at all with Myspace...
Well no one's saying you have to come out of your shell if you don't want to. But I can say with experience that life is more enjoyable when it's filled with friends. And the more you have, the more fun life gets.
Maybe I'm just saying that because I'm a Myspace whore. But it's still a good place to joke around with my friends. And I know you know that because you make jokes on my page. : )
-FOB
@Fob: haha i know...I joke , for sure, but less "hard" than in the forum... I tend to shy away when I dunno the people too well ...
I read a lot of what people say, though... But all in all I read more than I write, same for blogs.... 8/10 people i linked here don't even know I read them...
Btw, the friends on your Myspace...you know a lot in real life too, right? ^^
I know some of the people I have listed on Myspace, met a few once or twice, and others I'm hoping to get to know--namely, Elisha Cuthbert, Leelee Sobieski, and all of the bands I have listed.
I used to be way less careful about what would say online, especially when it came to my own journals. About forums I agree also; the environment is much more comfortable, where at least your words while permanent will mix with other people's words, whereas online journals are both fixed and extremely specific to oneself. That scares me.
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