Wednesday, April 20, 2005

russian memories

ok, right now i'd say that ima pretty busy....

caught in between, stress and impatience, so many things to think of, so many things to look forward to....

i feel like living the events instead of watching from a distance. even the words won't come easily those days... ^^

gonna go to a "russian supper" tonight....Guess i gonna meet good ole teachers, all those persons who mattered so much five years ago...they used to be the limits of my real world, the deadlines embodied in those flesh and bones ennemies...

lols

i used to have pretty weird relathionship with those back then.... something inbetween the wild to do a great job, and the dissapointment whenever i failed... i cannot recall that period as being the best of my life. far from it. it was a day to day stressfull journey, where i could manage some moments to dream on, having something to hold on to...anyway....

liek always, i feel liek finding any possible excuse not to go. being an aunt visiting me, or a suddent sickness.... i dread the moment when i will have to say "hi--how have you been-- thank you i am soooo happy to see you again--" not that i am not , well, a social animal, but simply i never find anything to say to anyone. like finding things to talk about to.... or even talking about me...anytime people ask me that question, i feel like shying away, kinda.... those are the moments when i'd wish my sweet one would be by my side..^^

i wonder if i'll still be able to talk in russian.... it's been so long since i haven't been practising it...^^

let's wait and see anyway.....

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