Well I guess no mind-blowing entry for today, I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hyped up to at least thing rationally, lols. (Haha, Am I able to write any mind-blowing entry anyway.... ^ ^)
Not that the situation I'm in bugs me.... I would say: on the contrary. I just had one of the best week-end in my whole life, and Christ forbid, I hold on to those precious moments as some safe haven in that sea of tourments I am in now, and go me! for the cheesy image....
Though, when my mind is not set on tickle mode (XD), it comes to think a bit more about the actions/reactions such a situation will inevitably leads to. And, granted, I got a lot of flews, but being a liar is not one of them. And I simply cannot bear all those semi-confessions and innuendos anymore........ I want to tell everyone the who, the whys and the hows, even if I am afraid of being judged. Sad to say, I'm still a bit self-conscious about it, I mean, will people understand my point of view?
But WHAT situation, some of you might asked, the mouse ready to click away from that personal blurb....
Thing is: I am helplessly falling in love right now. More accurately, I am willing to receive/give back his feelings, have them grow between each other, maybe test the waters a bit further (which, mind you, are on process to be dived into willingly ^ ^, and which, for those who know me, are totally knew...). Thing is : the realisation of it came as a total surprise, I mean, the line between friendship and care has been crossed a few time ago, and I felt myself willing to yield in....More exactly, I let go all the feelings I was repressing for a while...
And I don't want to take anything back. And now I have accepted to make it known. Well, slowly first, because I could not stand any joking right now..... I am too passionnate still, I feel too high, and I dread my overreacting......Though somehow, I trust the people reactions too.....I know all this, again, is taking place on a weird environment, where all the people only know each other virtually..... can't help feelings to grow, though, especially when you get to actually hear voices, smiles, whispers, or when you are trying your best to plan something out to make it work, really happen; still being aware of the risks, of the (dreaded) possibility that we might not get on well in flesh and bones....
But I am an optimistic right now, and I won't let go before I even try.....
Sigh.....I am sorry for saying only blurred things, but there are some details I like better keep for ourselves...Just to tell you how important and precious this is growing for me....
So far I made up my mind, and I am ready to unveil things, but in a natural way, little by little.... and I will wait for his agreing with me on this before saying anything...^ ^
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