a magic eraser

if i could get a magic eraser, i would use it at once. erase a bit of this day, between noon and dusk. i would have a chance to think back twice before saying stupid things. magic erasers do not exists, well, not in my world. so i will be reasonable. and say "never again", thinking about the meaning of the words this time.

the day has been stormy indeed, and in the garden too. the trees are now all naked, and winter really feels like coming. wonder if we'll get snow (i doubt). so as a real november girl, i stayed inside. i tried to read a bit but the eyes hurt too much. so i wrote a bit, but soon erased it all. meanwhile, nick stokes was trapped in his glass coffin, over and over again.

i am no good at expressing clearly how i feel, especially when i feel upset. i cuddle up behind my words, thinking people will guess the right meaning. of course it doesnt work. never hide behind words, for even if you can be seen from outer their edges, their meaning is nothing if you don't help a bit. you cannot see them, but they trap you nonetheless. like glass.

i think i gonna get a bit of sleep now. crying is useless, and nick stokes has been rescued from his glass prison by his friend. see, always trust your friends. do not hide away from them , the way i do too often. i can be saved from my glass box too. by someone who is more than a friend, and who means the world to me, and beyond. he doesn't use lenient words or false ones. he tells me the truth. and it helps.

the storms always end, and the strong winds always end up in gentle breezes. i have a whole night's sleep to get better. i won't make huge promises i cannot keep. i will just say i want to be me.