The sum of it all

I am counting the days left working at my current office. Exactly 14. Then, I take the whole month of June as holiday. Doing nothing but forget about the tenants, the files, the problems, the toilet paper incidents, everything. Then , on June 11, I go abroad to reach my Monmon's arms.

And after that, well, we'll think about our future in the most useful way.

I want barbecues in the garden. I want to be with my family, since my friends are all abroad. I want idle times reading, or doing crosswords. I want to occupy my mind to anything, but work. Living that work life is like having a permanent stress over my shoulder. I am not a naive person, I know that any business place is like that, even worse, sometimes. I just do not have the physical strength to cope with everything now.

I honestly think I am dealing with a lot of stuff, and not that bad, all in all. I am semi independent, I can deal with a money budget easily, I am an all-task assistant (from phone calls to fixing the Xerox machine), and on top of that, I am a mod at a forum (a task I am taking too much at heart, sometimes, good thing there's the Tech team I can rely on...)

I wanna get a life all by myself and my fiance. I want us to be together, and having a life. I am scared about the future of my parents too. I know they are craving to leave to France, bt I feem like I am the only obstacle to their dream and it is eating me away, too... Plus they are now renting the house we live in, and I am afraid we might get expelled some day or other..(you never know with the landlords...)

I know some people are thinking I am a fool, that living a long distance relationship will lead me nowhere. It's been one year and a half now, and all I can say is that the people who know me told me I had changed. That I was happier, quieter, in a way, better. But then again, listen to everything that people say, and you would never do anything of your own life.

Just do what you think is right, and be at peace with your conscience. And if the persons disagree, well so be it. It work that way on a forum, so it is in real life.

Some call me an idealist, I know. But without ideals, you are condemmned to endlessly follow the general opinion, caught forever in cliches and deja-vu attitude. I will never be an exceptional person, but at least, I can tell that my choices were my owns.