work-in-progress...

Maybe I better erase it all.... I cannot finish this... *siiiiiiiigh*

Hate me
(Wednesday, 1 »th march, 2007 /***’s status)


-Why don’t you just go away and hate me ?

His words had taken her aback with such violence she could feel Goosebumps slowly creeping down her spine. Even the hot coffee couldn’t completely ease the feeling of guilt she now felt. How did it all come to that situation, how had they fallen so far apart each other?

She swallowed her tears, as well as her pride. A little voice inside her was whispering she couldn’t save the whole universe, easing the misery and sorrows of each sad soul. He was special to her allright. But was she special in any way to him?

The coffee felt warm and bitter to the mouth. A bit like life at times. Not a honey-sweetened herbal tea, just a black, strong thing you had to swallow entirely. She smiled. Even now she felt the urge to make a whole story out of it. She was helpless, wasn’t she?

What was no fiction though, was the literally desperate look in his eyes. Just a flicker, buried deep down under the hatred, the loathed feelings. Was it towards her only? Or did he aimed all those feelings toward him?

She couldn’t say, she admitted. Knowing him for too little time, not even sure what she would do would help.

- OK. I’ll do that. Remember I am still around if you need me.

She then had left. Fighting against the urge of turning back, watching him go away, or maybe hoping for him watching her. She had reached the next Starbucks in what seemed like ages. When she turned away, the crowd had swallowed him up entirely.

Where had he gone, she couldn’t tell. Maybe going back home. Or walking around, maybe he was near. She poured some milk in the coffee, soothing both taste and warmth. Near the cup (caffe latte, yes just that, please), her cellphone. No call. No texts. She sighed, and took one more sip.

Maybe it was really life like. Getting bitter, and angry, but finally we all know the anger would recede. Until the next surge of course, but it wasn’t a permanent state, was it? She smiled, and finished the sweet, almost cold beverage. She frowned a bit. She definitely didn’t like sugar in her caffe, latte or not.